Salvation's Temptation
by XavierForest
Summary: Twenty-one and single father of three Allen Walker is working for The Black Order Design Company when Yu Kanda's PA quits and he is needed until a replacement can be found. Lucky(?) for Allen, seeing as he wasn't even aware that he was in need of a saving grace (even if that 'saving grace' came in the form of a jerk in a suit with severe attitudinal problems) YULLEN Slow Burn
1. PA Day

_PA Day_

 _Allen Walker_

The computer screen before me glowed bright white, multiple documents open and filled with sets of numbers that make sense to none if not cross-referenced with their counterparts in the neat piles of paperwork laid out beside me, all signed and alphabetized. All the desks were arranged in the proper cubicle-like manner, as nearly all firms such as these should be.

A cough from behind drew my attention, and I swivelled on my turning chair to find my immediate superior, Reever Wenham, standing before me, so I politely removed my black wire-rimmed reading glasses and looked up at the man expectantly.

Reever rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "Allen, I'd like to speak with you for a moment."

The serious tone at which he used turned my blood cold. "Oh god… I'm fired." My mind went into overdrive, running through any and all possible situations that may have been the cause behind such a thing to occur, and I nearly cried at all the reasons I found in such a short span of time. "I didn't mean to order Komui decaf! I'm sorry for getting lost in file storage again! I'll stop snacking in the office! It's not my fault that the print-"

"Allen!" Reever held up his hands in the universal 'calm down' gesture, a bemused smile on his face. "You're not fired. God no. You're one of the best this company has; there is no way in hell we're losing you."

The relief that came from his reassurance was soon drowned out by the embarrassment that flooded through me over my little outburst and his praise "Then what is it?" I ask, fingers twitching nervously as I tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear, a habit I'd developed sometime in my mid-teens.

"Well, there's been a bit of a situation upstairs…" He began awkwardly. "You know who 'Yu Kanda' is, right?"

I nodded at the question. Of course I did. _Everyone_ knew the name 'Yu Kanda'.

He was the third adopted son of Froi Teidoll, the Chairman of one of America's most up-and-coming design companies, _The Black Order_. Which was where we were right now.

Mr. Teidoll spent years building this company up from nothing, and his two other sons, one a musician, the other an international soccer star, were both sponsored by it. As a result, they also promoted the company by wearing its designs when taking part in interviews and the like.

That being said, Yu Kanda currently had near total control over the company, seeing as Mr. Teidoll had chosen to stay as Chairman in name only, with his youngest being the Vice Chairman. Even though he'd managed to erect offices all over the world and sell overseas, rumour had it that his personality was complete crap. Some said his simple presence enough to make one uncomfortable, others called him an emotionless bastard, while most just went with 'downright rude'. I could honestly say that I'd never had, and never will have any intentions of meeting the man.

"His PA quit this morning."

I nearly dropped my glasses. "It's only Tuesday!" That man went through PA's faster than an alcoholic could drown himself in… well… alcohol.

"We don't really have the time to find him a new one just yet, so could you fill the position for a while?"

My heart thumped against my chest. "I don't think I'm the right person for the job." _God no!_

"Nonsense!" Reever clasped my hands in his own, brown eyes wide with desperation. "I specifically recommended you to Komui, and he wholeheartedly agreed with me."

 _Please don't do this to me!_

"It's only temporary, but this is a good opportunity for you," he continued, leaning in closer.

A bead of sweat rolled down my forehead. "How temporary?" _A day? Please less than a day!_

"A week at the most; just till we find a replacement."

His words made my heart sink. "I don't know…"

"We don't have anyone else to rely on." His tone had almost turned to begging now.

Swallowing my discomfort, I slowly give the sandy-haired man a nod. "Sure… I guess." _Urg. Why am I such a pushover?_

"Great!" He pulled me up, dragging me off in the direction of the main office's department head. "Komui!" He shouted excitedly, throwing open the door, "he agreed!"

"Fantastic!" A hand was suddenly at my lower back, guiding me to the lift. Another hand clamped down on my shoulder, almost like the purple-haired man was trying to prevent me from escaping. That thought only made the anxiousness I felt severely worse.

Komui pressed the button for the twenty-seventh floor, a place I'd never been before. The highest I'd ever gone to was eleven, and that was only because I'd somehow gotten lost. That was the last time I'd ever taken the stairs.

I prayed that the lift ride would last much longer as my palms grew sweaty, dread filling me when the door's slid open with an innocent 'ping'.

"Kanda~!" Komui called out in a singsong voice. "I've got your temp~!"

He flung open the door without waiting for an answer, pushing me in before him.

The first thing that stood out to me about the lightly-tanned man inside was his eyes; two orbs of azure that glared over at me unpleasantly. The next was his hair; long navy-blue tresses held up by a simple red Chinese-style tie. The third thing was the fact that he grimaced the moment he laid eyes on me.

 _Well this is going to be fun._

"This is him?" The man asked rudely, leaning back in his seat.

"Yep!" Komui said, obviously completely oblivious to the tension thick in the room. "Have fun you two~"

And then the traitorous bastard left me here alone with the dreaded Vice Chairman of _The Black Order_ Design Company.

Yu Kanda stood, taking a folder from his desk and walking towards me. It took all I could to not back away from him with every step closer he took.

Instead of stopping right in front of me, he circled me, looking me up and down with critical eyes while I stayed perfectly still, not daring to move without his permission in case I somehow managed to upset him, even though his sharp gaze made my spine feel all tingly.

 _I don't like him._

How could I? That sneer on his lips was doing nothing to change my view.

"Follow."

I walked out behind him, stopping when he threw the thick manila folder on the sleek black desk by the left of the door I'd been through twice now.

"You'll work here." He crossed his arms, already appearing bored with my presence. "These are last month's stock statistics for women's clothes sizes eight through to twelve from the Asia branch; transfer all of the data to computer, sort it by size, email it to me, then leave."

With that, my charming boss turned and slammed his door shut, signalling the end of our _lovely_ first 'conversation', leaving me now knowing exactly what it was that caused all those PA's to quit.

WVW

My first day as the PA of Yu Kanda hadn't actually been as bad as I'd envisioned.

Actually, it hadn't even been a full day. There were still about four hours left, seeing as a normal work day ended at about five for me, usually beginning at about seven or eight. The folder he'd given me had only contained about fifteen or so sheets, meaning after roughly four hours, I was done. It had been pretty easy, nowhere near as difficult as what I'd done down in Komui's department. Then again, Komui always had piles and piles of documents, so those weren't actually difficult, more like there was just a never-ending supply of them...

A vibrating feeling in my pocket was what caught my attention, and I pulled out my white iPhone 4 to read the text that flashed across the screen.

 **Lenalee** 7m ago

[ I'm off early and I kno you are 2 ㈵6 ]

slide to reply

I smiled to myself as I pocketed the device, moving to unlock the car door. All I had to do was wait a few seconds and a force strong enough to rival that of an American footballer slammed into my side. "Morning, Allen!"

Lenalee grinned down at me as winced and rubbed my arm. Even without her high heels, she was still about three inches taller than me; it was just plain old cruelty that I stopped growing the moment I hit sixteen.

While I'd brooded on my height, or lack thereof, she'd slid into the passenger's seat and was now buckling in. "Come on, slowpoke! We've got shopping to do!"

Now that I thought about it, Lenalee _had_ been wanting to get a new pair of boots…

WVW

Lenalee tugged my arm, pulling me into the seventh shoe store today, ignoring the chatter of the people around us. The two of us weren't so oblivious to the whispering as we made out to be. It was obvious, really, seeing as Lenalee Lee was, in fact, one of _The Black Order_ 's most exclusive models.

And why wouldn't she be?

She was a natural beauty; from her warm lilac eyes, to her Junoesque figure, it was as if she were made for the job. Her personality was nearly flawless, and she held herself with a kind of grace that was rare to see nowadays.

Then again, I may be a tad biased, considering she was my first ever friend and all. Or, it was more like she was the first ever person to ever truly show me kindness. She was the one to teach me that not all humans were monsters. She was like a goddess to someone as dirty as myself. Of course, I would never tell her that, unless I wanted her to deck me. She hated hearing me degrade myself like that.

"Allen!"

My head snapped up at the sound of my name to find Lenalee with her brows raised. She'd probably been calling me for some time now, considering the look she was now giving me. "Ah! Sorry! I kinda zoned out…"

"I gathered that." She gave me a wry smile. "Well, what do you think?" She modelled for me a pair of red leather boots, decorated only by a strange black bow on either shoe. They were absolutely hideous.

I _wanted_ to tell her that they looked good, I really did, because I didn't think I could stand much more of this _torture_.

I sighed to myself, cursing my lack of ability to wriggle my way out of this hell. "They don't suit you at all."

She frowned, turning to study herself in the full-length mirror, only to decide that she actually hated them.

Glancing around tiredly, my gaze landed on a black pair of boots. The heel itself was about half an inch higher than what she normally went for, and they were also knee-highs with a silver metal band on the outer side hooking through two opposing flaps of material, tethering them tightly together. They didn't look all too bad…

I quickly stood to retrieve them, proudly showing them to Lenalee without saying a word.

She peered down at them, brows furrowed. "I dunno…"

"Try them on," I urged, desperate to leave.

I watched as she pulled them on and stood, walking a few steps to get the feel of them. "Well?"

She walked over to me, the additional heel lengthening her stride. "They're surprisingly comfortable."

I smiled, glad to have this torture all over.

Lenalee riffled through her purse in search of a credit card. "I should get you to help me out with outfits more often," she said offhandedly, freezing me in my place.

 _Oh please no._

I didn't want to have to suffer through this all over again.

"So, how'd it go?"

I went silent, cocking my head to the side in confusion, because _what_ was she talking about?

Her face held this really creepy grin that automatically made me want to hide. Possibly in another country. "I heard that Brother made you Kanda's temporary personal assistant, how'd it go?"

I sighed, not even bothering to ask who'd she'd gotten that kind of information from. No one knew how, but Lenalee always knew everything that went on inside that building. "He was a little…" My mind scrambled about for a fitting word to describe the man. "He was an arse."

And that was how Lenalee Lee, _Black Order_ model, very nearly chocked to death on her own laughter in public.

WVW

"Daddy!"

A pair of pale wrapped around me from behind, accompanied by a warmth at the base of my back.

Smiling down at the hands, I extracted myself from their hold, spinning around to find myself face-to-face with a head of reddish-brown mahogany locks and a big grin. "Hello, Katie."

Katerina's grin broadened at that. She loved it when I called her by the nickname we'd made together.

"He's back!" Someone cried, and then two small bundles of limitless energy tackled me.

Groaning from the floor, I winced as someone screamed in my ear.

"Hi daddy!" Those words were accompanied by a childishly happy face that shoved itself into mine.

Another suddenly butted in, wanting my attention. "You're here early!"

The first glared at the other, clinging tighter to me. "I was here first!"

"Too bad, Mana! You can't have him all to yourself!" The second said haughtily, poking out his small pink tongue.

"Daddy! Neah's being mean again!" Mana wailed, shaking me.

"I am not!"

"Am too!"

"Am not!"

"Am too!"

"Am too!"

"Am not!" Mana cried, red in the face, only to stop and rethink what he'd just said.

"See! He admitted that I'm not!"

"Am I invisible?" Lenalee asked, looking down at her hands.

"Auntie Lenalee!"

"So you only notice me _now_?" She queried, a hand on her chest as she feigned hurt.

The two boys looked at each other guiltily while I mouthed 'thank you' to Lenalee. She always knew the exact moment when I needed saving.

Katerina clapped her hand together, successfully catching the attention of all four of us. "Get your bags!"

Neah was the first to react, grabbing at his bag from the hook where he'd left it, throwing said backpack onto his back and practically dragging Lenalee out the door, followed up by Mana who complained about how 'Neah was hogging Auntie Lena again'.

"Just let me sign you guys off first!" I called after them, taking the clipboard handed to me by the familiar black-haired white-fringed man beside me. I quickly jotted down my name and time of pickup, then put the board down and ran. "See ya, Krory!" I yelled back at the afterschool care manager as I ran towards the car. Last time they'd done this, I'd been locked out of the car for a solid fifteen minuted before anyone had let me in.

That included Lenalee.

Those four were always conspiring against me in one way or another.

WVW

"Bye, Lena!"

The four of us waved goodbye as Lenalee did the same whilst opening her car door and sliding in.

We waited until she was out of sight before we began to head back in.

"Shower time!" I declared, still irked about having been stuck outside my car for ten minutes, and taking it all out on Mana by picking him up and throwing the screaming and giggling child over my shoulder.

I swung Mana onto the most padded section of the couch, putting on an innocent façade when his head shot up and he looked at me with that big grin I hardly ever saw him without, noticeably missing one of his front teeth.

"Did you lose something, Mana?" I knelt down a little to get a better look, resting my hands on my knees.

He nodded furiously, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the couch. "My tooth came out today!"

"Already?" I bit back my own grin, swapping it out for a look of surprise.

It wasn't all that hard to see just how excited he really was; Mana had always been the easy one to read.

Not wanting to put a damper on his high spirits, I leant in a bit closer to whisper conspiratorially in his ear using hushed tones. "If you're a good boy and put it under your pillow, the tooth fairy will come and give you a dollar while you're sleeping."

"Like with how she did for Neah and Katie?" He asked, eyes wide with wonderment.

"Yep!" I gave him a quick peck on the cheek, this time not bothering to hide my laughter as he rubbed at that very same –now bright red– cheek with the back of his hand. "Don't lose that tooth, 'kay?"

"'Kay!" He agreed, hand drifting to the pocket of his little tan trousers.

Neah poked his head over the back of the couch, looking between Mana and I curiously. "Wha'cha talkin' 'bout?"

"How the tooth fairy's gonna give me money for my tooth!" Mana proclaimed happily.

I stood, slowly drifting over to the base of the stairs as they continued to talk about what Mana would spend the dollar on. "Be sure to get your towels." I reminded them, watching as they looked up at the sound of my voice, nodded, and then ran off to collect their towels from the cupboard, closely followed by Katerina who watched them like a hawk to make sure that they actually made it to the cupboard and back again without any detours.

Taking the steps two at a time, I hurried to the bathroom, eager to be under the hot spray of the shower, especially considering how cold the weather had been as of late. I turned the tap to warm the water while I waited for their return, seeing as the heat always took a while to kick in. I would have to get that fixed eventually…

As I stood there, with only the sound of water hitting tiles for company, I began to undress, unbuttoning my shirt and letting it quietly slip from my shoulders to the floor.

And then my smile finally slipped.

 _I know I don't deserve it…_

Dull grey eyes, filled with disgust as I gazed at myself through the fogged bathroom mirror.

… _and I'm sorry…_

That lanky mop of white hair, long ago having lost its pigmentation.

… _but…_

An ugly red scar, twisting its way down the left side of my face.

… _I can't…_

A deep black arm, hard to the touch, sensitive when touched.

… _Not for much longer…_

WVW

 _So this is just to see if people like the idea. I'll decide whether to continue or not on the kind of response it receives._

 _Anyway, I was upset because I wanted to say that the area around Allen was like a bunch of little cubicles only with desks and apparently 'cubiclised' isn't a word._

 _Oh yeah, I'll only do this once._ **Dark themes – rape, suicidal thoughts, prostitution, etc.**


	2. Backtrack

_Backtrack_

 _Yu Kanda_

The temperature was tepid; not too cool, but not too warm.

That was good. Hot weather made me regret having to wear a suit, but cold weather made everyone complain and annoy me all the more.

The décor had been tastefully chosen by yours truly, black walls seeming to steal what little light the overhead lamps produced, the room bathed in a dim glow. I could've turned the brightness setting up, had I not despised the light and purposely made it all this way. Too much light was annoying.

If I was being honest, everything was annoying.

A futon sat to my right beside the large bookcase and filing cabinet where I stored all the papers that needed signing, and a giant wall of glass to my left, the morning city view unable to be seen due to the thick black blinds I'd bought to hide myself from the sun and the godforsaken world below.

I was never one to really care all that much for a view that only showed most of what was wrong with this boring world. Besides, I already knew what I'd see: thousands of people milling around wasting their insignificant little lives, smoke crawling up in thin grey tendrils and polluting the already toxic city air, one drab grey building after another, stretching up towards the skies they would never meet.

It was always the same, nothing ever changing. With my head resting on my hand, elbow propped up on the desk, my eyes drifted back to the woman before me.

Her fists were balled and the hatred she felt for me was written across her red face as plain as day. She shook with it, and I was half expecting her to end up throwing something at me. Now _that_ would have been entertaining.

"I've wanted to say this from the moment I met you," she began, voice low, though gradually rising with every few words. "You're a bastard! A cold-hearted sadistic dick!" The woman screeched, face as red as a boiled shrimp, plain brown eyes watery. "I'M _AMAZED_ AS TO HOW YOU'RE EVEN ABLE TO RUN THIS GODDAMN COMPANY, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I QUIT!"

And with that, my thirty-second PA promptly escorted herself out without the aid of the security men of whom I had yet to call.

"Che." It wasn't my fault that every single one of them so far had all been incompetent imbeciles. They could at least come up with something more original; it wasn't like I hadn't heard all that before.

My first had quit two month in after a dispute we'd had over the quality of his work. He, for some absurd reason, came up with the notion that he was too good for me and deserved better.

My second spilt coffee all over the rug; no way was I letting a klutz like her near my work.

The third had quit; I don't even remember why.

The fourth, too, had quit.

After that, I'd gone out of my way to test them. Unfortunately, the little shits -who _should_ have been able to handle it all considering they _were_ the idiots who applied for the job in the first place- all left before the three-month mark. As of today, the list of potential replacements had practically dwindled down to nothing. I doubted that there were any actually left to even _consider_ the position.

Well, Komui had once told me that he had he had the perfect temp waiting in reserve in case a situation like this were to ever arise. Though, that was nearly a year ago.

I didn't even need a PA, really, but that damned Teidoll insisted, and since this was _technically_ his company, I had no choice but to go along with it.

Why that old man just didn't keel over and die already annoyed me to no end.

And another thing; why _Komui_ of all people knew a good temp remained a mystery. Why would anyone apply to him? He was a Department Head for Christ's sake! Unless they didn't apply, and it was just someone working under Komui…

Great, Komui wanted to shove one of his overworked geeks onto me.

I groaned into my hands, elbows on the desk. "This _sucks_ … Fucking Teidoll… Fucking Komui…"

Now wasn't the time for this, though; definitely not when there was work to be done. So instead of continuing on with my angry mutterings, I retrieved my phone from where it sat on the corner of my desk.

I glared at the bright screen offensively, like this situation was all _its_ fault, scrolling through my -short- list of contacts with a click of my tongue. When I finally found Komui's contact information, I composed a quick two-word message then jabbed at the tiny green 'send' on screen with a touch more force than necessary.

 **SisterComplex**

 **Today** 7:26 am

[ PA quit ]

The phone beeped almost ten seconds later, informing me of the received message. And the fact that the bastard probably wasn't even working, considering how fast he'd replied. _Goddamn slacker…_

 **SisterComplex** just now

[ I gocha covered ㈇6㈇7✌ ]

slide to reply

I rolled my eyes at his childishness and persistent use of emojis, pushing my hair back out of my face from where it had escaped its confines.

More of it fell, and I sighed, more out of exasperation than anything else. With sure hands, I pulled it out completely, letting it fall down my shoulders so I could run my hands through it to disentangle any stray knots. Not that there'd be any.

I tied up my hair in a high ponytail after I'd finished checking for knots -there weren't any- and was now waiting solely for Komui, finger tapping impatiently on the dark hardwood desk. The fool always knew how to test my patience.

That's around when I heard the aforementioned fool's annoyingly cheerful voice. I couldn't hear what was said, though, his words being muffled by the thick door that led to my office.

And then said door opened, some kid ungracefully falling into the room.

A kid who hurriedly straightened himself up, and, at my stare, quickly looked down, very adamant on not meeting my gaze directly.

The sister complex filed in soon after, wearing a stupid grin. No surprise there.

"This is him?" I scoffed, leaning back in my chair. Surely Komui was joking.

Iridescent silver peeked up at me, and then returned back down to the floor. His face was young, looking to belong to someone in high school, maybe a junior, or a senior at most. And he had some kind of weird star-shaped purple/red tattoo that had a connecting line trail down and cut through his eyelid, hooked once, and ended like a tear mark rolling down his left cheek.

And did I mention that his hair was white? Because it was.

Not pale blond, not old-man grey, but shoulder-length, fucking _snow_ -coloured silky strands of obviously dyed hair.

 _Really, Komui? THIS is the 'perfect temp'?_

"Yep!" The purple-haired man wiggled his fingers at me in farewell, leaving with nothing more than a 'have fun you two'.

The kid flinched at the sound of the door clicking shut behind him, indicating that it wasn't likely his decision to be here. The way his eyes kept flicking from my feet to the door supported my theory.

Wanting to get this over with as soon as possible, I stood, snatching a folder from one of the few piles sitting in front of me.

I walked around him, trying to soak in his appearance. Since I'm not normally one to judge another based on their face alone, I've taken to doing this when meeting new people. Not only does it help with checking their clothes and posture of which they present themselves (which tell a lot about a person), but I've also heard that it's a pretty unnerving experience for the other party. _Sucks to be him._

He wore a crisp white dress shirt, the fabric soft looking, probably freshly ironed, partnered with deep grey slacks, and a vest of the same colour. A simple red ribbon replaced the tie that most wore; a good call on his part, considering a tie would ruin the semi-innocent look he had going for him. A look that outlandish tattoo was ruining.

The kid was completely still, aside from the occasional twitching of gloved fingers; an obvious nervous tick. His eyes were fixed to the ground, though if it was out of respect or fear, I honestly couldn't have cared less

"Follow."

He obeyed, following me out to where I dropped the folder on his new desk. The thing had been here since I'd being instated as the Vice-chairman of this place and still had yet to have anyone work at it for more than a few months. A complete waste of perfectly good furniture, really.

"You'll work here," I droned, crossing my arms, tired of having to go over all this for the thirty-third time already.

Wanting this over with as soon as possible, I explained his job, keeping everything brief, then left before he even had time to sit down, throwing the door shut behind me. He wouldn't be here for long, so there wasn't any need for me to talk to the little freak longer than necessary.

I paused by my desk, frowning down at my phone. Giving in, I reached for it, quickly pulling up the most recent conversation and adding to it.

 **SisterComplex**

 **Today** 7:49 am

[ What the hell?! ]

After waiting a few minutes, there was no response.

That was unusual.

 **SisterComplex**

 **Today** 7:52 am

[ KOMUI ]

Another short wait. Still nothing.

 **SisterComplex**

 **Today** 7:55 am

[ I know you saw my text! ]

He was ignoring me.

I, Yu Kanda, was being ignored by that infuriating, good-for-nothing slacker of a Sister Complex.

My hand tightened around the phone, strangling the life from it as I ground my teeth, fighting the urge to punch something. Preferably something with glasses and purple hair.

Angrily, I glared at the door.

What was I supposed to do with a _child_? Komui _knew_ how much a hated the things.

And I didn't even _need_ a PA in the first place! Why was this happening?

The kid would be useless!

He was obviously inexperienced, and that passive nature of his would get him nowhere in life. The way he held himself and moved spoke of a richer family, most likely using contacts just to get himself this far. And that tattoo? Rebellion in his younger years. Well, the dumbass couldn't get rid of it now. Seriously though, what kind of idiot gets something like _that_ tattooed on their _face_? Not only would it require one to possess copious amounts of stupidity, but that person would have in no way been thinking about their immediate future.

Did he think that appearances didn't matter as long as he had connections? Was that it?

Did Komui have plans for me to haze the rookie or something?

I released a breath I hadn't known I'd been holding, leaning against the desk.

Whatever. It's not like it mattered all that much in the end anyway. As long as the work got done, I couldn't care less.

The stuff I gave him would keep the brat busy for the rest of the day anyway, and with the passwords for the computer being written down beside it, my job of babysitting him was over for the day.

WVW

My eyebrows rose at the sight of a certain little email in my drop box. Clicking on it, I was just about ready to go off at the kid for rushing and giving me some unacceptably shitty table of incomprehensible strings of numbers in some useless attempt to impress me, because _there was no way_ he could have sorted through it all in such a short amount of time, except, a quick scan of the data told me it _was_ all there. A deeper, more thorough read over of the table also told me that there wasn't one mistake. _Not one._ That should _not_ have been possible.

Useless brats like him shouldn't have been able to do so much in only three hours!

I pushed myself up out of my chair, making a beeline for the door and silently slipping out to confront the boy.

However, unlike his work, the brat _wasn't_ there.

Nope. Instead of the white-haired assistant that had been leant to me, all I found was an empty seat and a dark computer screen.

 _Where the fuck…?_

Then I remembered what I'd told him earlier. _Before_ he'd finished off six hours' worth of work in half the time.

 _He actually left? There's still hours 'til his shift ends!_

"Little shit…"

WVW

 _Don't we all just love Kanda?_

 _And remember to tell me if you spot any mistakes! Those damn things are embarrassing._


	3. Rules & Thursdays

_Rules & Thursdays_

 _Allen Walker_

"Mana… Neah..."

The two of them slept facing one another in their shared double bed, and no matter how many times I shook them or called out their names, neither woke.

With a sigh, I tried again, hopes raised by the groan that met my ears. Neah stirred, then he rolled and stilled, now exactly as he'd been before, only he wasn't facing his twin this time around.

"You guys asked for it," I whispered, climbing over them. It was their fault for not waking while I was still playing nice.

With one hand sliding beneath the sheets, and the other trailing over Neah's exposed neck, I figured they'd last around ten seconds.

Two sets of dark brown-flecked-gold eyes soon shot open as childish giggles filled the room and the both of them flailed and writhed, trying unsuccessfully to shield themselves as I tickled and smothered them in kisses.

"Gya! Daddy!" Mana squealed, futilely trying to swat away my hand.

Grinning, I scooped them both up, hefting the giggling duo over my shoulders and lugging them towards the door. Two tiny bodies clung to the back of my shirt, four legs kicking about at the sides of my central vision.

"Breakfast~" I announced with a singsong tone, the bounce in my step successfully getting from them another two strings of laughter as they teetered unsteadily where they were held, close to falling.

Silver eyes rose to meet my own as I descended the stairs, Katerina already sitting at the jutting area of elongated bench space that was our kitchen table, three different bowls of cereal at the seats beside her.

Letting the twins down, I habitually sat at the Honey Nut Crunch, Mana making a beeline for the Fruit Loops, and Neah for the Nutri-Grain. The four of us ate in a comfortable silence, with me pretending that I couldn't see Mana and Neah not-so-subtly having kicking war. Kids will be kids; it was best to just let 'em at it and figure out the consequences for themselves. How much it hurt to nurse a bruised shin, for instance.

Katerina rolled her eyes at their actions, and then when I sent an innocent smile her was, she just sighed, going back to the last of her toast. She soon finished before the rest of us, her only stop before hurrying off being the sink so she could add her plate to the growing pile of dirty dishes that needed to be cleaned.

She was the most mature one out of the four of us, no matter how she tried to hide it. I _knew_. She was a complex mix of your average seven-year-old, and someone thrice her age. Katie constantly wavered between the two, never quite able to remain as one for more than a few minutes at a time. Sure, she _tried_ to act like a normal child her own age, except… it wasn't that hard to figure out something was a bit off about her, especially with the way she worded a good portion of her sentences. And that, unfortunately, was the reason she had no friends her own age. Well, that and the fact that she death-glared just about anyone who dared to get too close to me, Neah, or Mana.

While I'd been busy pondering that, Katerina had returned with their outfits for the day, setting them out neatly on the coffee table in front of the couch. Ever the motherly figure… Maybe she should be the parent.

I thought about that, and shivered. _No_. She was perfect just the way she was; all the hard, disgusting shit this stupid world dumped on us was better left for me deal with. I at least wanted them to enjoy what was left of their childhood.

Pushing those thoughts to the back of my head -where they would then be left to fester and eat away at me from the inside out until I finally worked up the nerve to deal with them head on-, I instead focussed on what she'd picked out. Not to boast or anything, but she'd inherited her superior sense of fashion from yours truly, so it was always interesting to see what combinations of tees and shorts she could come up with. She'd once mentioned that she hated being a child because of the lack of creativity present in children's clothes.

When I'd tried telling her that there was actually a wide variety of clothing for those of her age, she'd fixed me with this sour look and mumbled something about me not having the brain cells to understand her dilemma.

Maybe it was a girl thing…

Anyway, as always, Mana and Neah's were matching, though with different coloured shirts. They used to wear the exact same clothing until a teacher complained about how the two of them were always switching hair styles and pretending to be the other. I still couldn't fathom as to how someone could get the two of them mixed up; it was easy to tell them apart. Where Neah was mostly serious, Mana was very easy-going, perhaps even a tad airy at times.

Katerina shimmied out of her pale pink cotton shorts, replacing them with a pair of thin black stockings that were more for appearance's sake than to actually keep her pale legs warm or shielded from the sun.

Only just finishing off breakfast now, I leave my empty bowl in the sink, walking out to see Katerina stepping into an ankle-length black skirt with white ruffled trimmings. Smiling at her, I sank into the comfort of the couch I'd bought years ago -as long as it's comfortable, who cares if it looks old?-, already utterly exhausted, and the day hadn't even really begun yet. If only I didn't have to wake up so early…

Clearing my head of that thought, I blinked in surprise when I saw that Katerina was already buttoning up her white Victorian-era shirt.

…Apparently, like me, my daughter's preferences lie in old-fashioned clothing.

"Daddy?"

Katerina was watching me, big eyes filled with worry, head tilted slightly to one side; it was a habit she'd picked up from me. Smiling, I wordlessly took the hairbrush she'd been holding in her hand, pretending I hadn't noticed her concern.

There was nothing wrong with me, I'd just been pretty out of it lately… Tired, too…

While combing through her long russet tresses, I tied back the top layer so that it wouldn't get in her face, the rest of it remaining out and reaching down to her mid back. If anything, the style seemed to age her, giving the seven-year-old the appearance of a ten-year-old; the fact that she hadn't inherited my lack of…erm… growth… helped a bit.

Even though I didn't exactly _like_ the idea of my little girl looking older than she actually was, I knew this suited her best. Or, to be more accurate, it suited her _personality_. Forced to become an adult before she could even hope to experience what being a child was like… I guess that was another similarity between the two of us.

Ignoring the guilt nestling deep within my gut, I tucked a stray curl of reddish-brown behind her ear, the action so familiar to me that I'd done it instinctively. Realising what I'd done, I withdrew my hand, frowning. When little eyebrows furrowed, I patted the top of her head, smoothing down any hair that I hadn't had the chance to get to yet. "You look beautiful, Katie."

 _Just like HER…_

Consciously thinking of it made my chest hurt, and when Katerina smiled up at me, the expression so painfully _fake_ , I felt like crying. But I didn't; it would ruin her efforts if I did. She was trying to be reassuring, trying to be the strong one. She wanted to help me forget about all the bad things. Like the pain. And the loss. And my life before them.

"Be sure to look after your brothers for me."

She gave me a weary smile, and then I found myself pulled down by the hands at my collar, closer to her height.

I felt lips brush my cheek, soft as a feather, and then came the almost inaudible reply of, "I always do."

Something tugged on my sleeve, and when I checked to see what it was, a pair of silver eyes stared up into mine, full of curiosity. "Daddy, is something wrong?" Mana asked.

I grinned, pulling back out of Katerina's hold. "Of course not! But we _do_ have to get moving! I can't be late for work because my boss is a big meanie!"

He nodded thoughtfully, an adorable pout taking hold of his face. "If he's a meanie, why don't you just leave?"

"It's fine; I only have to put up with him for two more days and then I'll be back to working with Uncle Komui," I explained, smiling as his pout became a grin at the mention of the man who had dubbed himself as my children's uncle. "Though, I bet he's gonna work me to the bone when I'm finally placed in his division again…"

If only Komui actually did the work he was supposed to… _Ha_ , fat chance of that ever happening.

Still, it was nice to know that some things never changed.

VWV

The whole time I drove, I literally had to mentally prepare myself for another day at working as the Black Order's Vice Chairman's PA. To be honest, what I really wanted was to just slam my head against the steering wheel. Repeatedly. Until I passed out.

But then I would be late.

It was only my third day, and I now knew for sure that all those rumours of Yu Kanda's notorious temperament and personality hadn't just been jokes or an exaggeration; the man was truly demonic.

Five simple seconds in his company already had me wanting out; out of the room, out of the floor, out of the building, out of anywhere within a five-mile radius of the hell spawn.

I sighed, glancing out through the windshield of my car up at the cloudy sky, wishing that the week would hurry and pass already. Unfortunately for me, the time seemed to be dragging on and on, though that could have something to do with how I'd spent a good portion of the day willing the minute hand on the clock to move faster.

But yesterday… my second day… it'd been horrible.

|l|l|

 _I smiled fondly as I stepped into the lift, train of thought drifting off somewhere in reminiscence. I'd gotten a decent night's sleep last night thanks to leaving early, and so far, I'd found myself looking forward to what lay ahead._

 _Yu Kanda didn't really talk all that much, and aside from his obvious detestation of me right from the get-go, there weren't any other problems that I could think of._

 _So yeah, it was right about then when I'd started thinking that_ maybe _, just maybe, this job would be good for me. It was a change of pace; something to mix things up a bit._

 _My days had become rather repetitive. Not that I was complaining or anything; it was a good kind of repetitive, nothing at all like how my life once was._

 _Definitely not. It was nice, calming even, and I wouldn't give it up for anything._

 _Lenalee, Katie, Mana, and Neah… As long as I had them, I didn't need anything else. Not my colleagues, not my job, not my health, not my happiness. Nothing. Because they were my_ everything _. My world._

 _And they knew it, too._

 _They knew me, how I thought, how I acted, my habits, my likes, dislikes; they knew it all. To them, I was an open book. An open book that was reluctant to be read, rejecting the very thought of such a thing with all its being._

 _Oh well, nothing I could do about it now._

 _I couldn't help it that they knew of my usual rituals of losing myself in depressive thoughts, and just how clogged up with self-hate and overflowing with negativities my mind really was._

 _My smile fell, lips now downturned at the corners._

 _What was I supposed to do when they'd found out all those things about me that I'd never allowed any to know?_

 _They'd torn through my lies and facades countless times already and exposed me for what I really was. Weak. Helpless. A bit of a cry baby._

 _I'd been upset to have it all revealed, to have them see_ me _, but the world went on, and a little piece of me was put back together again._

 _Though, I knew I'd never be whole. That was impossible._

 _And they even knew_ why _._

 _It wasn't because I'm scared that they'd leave me, nor was it because of my insecurities. Nope, not at all. It was because_ I _knew_ them _, and the lengths they'd go to in trying to help me. But I couldn't have that. I_ didn'twant _to be saved._

 _And so, right now, the only thing about me that they didn't know -the one thing I flat out refused to let them know- was what I planned on taking with me to the grave._

 _I couldn't have then realising the extent to which I'd been damaged. I didn't want them to have to waste their precious time worrying over the likes of me; they shouldn't have to deal with that. The burden wasn't theirs to bear._

 _But I could tell… every second of every hour of every day… I was being dragged deeper… and soon I'd drown, because it was becoming_ that much harder _to breathe. No way would I be lasting that much longer… and in the end, I wouldn't even try to save myself. Living was too difficult… the weight of the world was too heavy._

 _The four of them still all tried, nonetheless. They really were too kind for their own good. That'd surprised me, honestly, seeing as how most of the humans I'd met before them were all pieces of trash that deserved to rot in a ditch somewhere._

 _The lift doors soundlessly slid open, revealing the short hallway that lead to the quiet of my temporary office area._

 _And then that moment of serine silence was broken._

" _Moyashi! Get in here!"_

 _Startled, my head whipped towards the source of yelling, and I,_ completely _missing the sudden shift from hardwood flooring to carpet, caught my toe_ just _where the two met, resulting in me being rewarded with a face full of expensive Royal Blue carpet. At least it was soft._

 _More than a tad put out -and somewhat embarrassed-, I picked myself up from off the floor. At least no one had seen me trip; now I wouldn't die of mortification._

 _Admittedly, it'd been a bit of a shock to be greeted on only my second day as Yu Kanda's PA with an assault against my ears from his furious-sounding shouts, even moreso considering I'd been lost in my musings at the time, and now had a heart that was beating a mile-a-minute within my chest._

 _I stand there for another few moments, doing nothing but trying to steady my heat by taking long, deep breaths. Surely I hadn't done anything to anger the volatile man… maybe… God, I hoped not._

 _And then I frowned._

Did he just… call me 'beansprout'?

" _Hurry the fuck up!"_

 _I inwardly winced at the foul language and his tone. His voice held impatience, something that my just standing here was doing nothing to remedy. I barely stopped myself from rushing straight in, slowly entering his office with great hesitance, not quite ready to have my head ripped off just yet._

 _The second I was spotted, the hellion descended on me, dark eyes flashing dangerously. Seriously though, it was like I was being faced with the devil!_

 _I paled, subconsciously pressing myself against the door -the traitorous thing having somehow closed on its own without my knowledge-, wanting as much space between the two of us as possible. Which was hard to pull off when the other party saw fit to close the gap, moving in on me like a beast stalking its prey. Lord have mercy…_

 _He looked down his nose at me, mouth twisted into an ugly sneer. "Why the_ fuck _did you leave so early yesterday?"_

 _Confused, with my heart feeling like it was in my throat, I swallowed. "B-because you told m-me I could leave when I fini-"_

 _He cut me off, hands slamming against the door either side of my head, expression telling me that he was possibly seconds away from skinning me alive. "Your shift hadn't ended yet!"_

 _I couldn't argue with him; he was the boss, and I needed this job. Stomping down on my pride, I bowed my head. "I understand s-sir, it w-won't happen again." If anything, I'd have to say that I was more angry at myself than anything else; all this stuttering was going to make him see me as just another one of those pushovers…_

 _Well… It was probably too late for that, anyway… I guess I didn't really care anymore… Right now, all I wanted was to be anywhere that_ wasn't _under his glare_

" _It better not happen again, fucktard," he growled, face inches from my own._

 _Wringing my hands, I sank a little in my place, ears burning in shame; I'd always hated being scolded._

" _Stop fidgeting!"_

 _Hands now clasped behind my back, I lowered my head even more. Why did I ever agree to this? Maybe I_ was _a pushover… So stupid…_

 _I could_ feel _rather than_ see _that his glare had yet to dissipate, even when he pulled back, returning to where his desk sat at the opposite end of the room. I heard the rustling of papers, and raised my head just in time to glimpse him snatch a neat bundle of folders from his desk. He turned back to me, eyes still filled with loathing, and shoved the beige folders into my chest, where I barely managed to avoid dropping them all and making matters worse. Blinking slowly, I stared up at the man, not quite able to understand his actions. "If you finish these, make sure you fucking_ tell me _this time."_

 _Alongside the ever-present fear and sense of foreboding, a smidge of relief welled up in my chest. I nodded furiously, holding the folders in a stiff grip. "Y-yessir!"_

 _It was only later on, when I'd finally sat down at my temporary desk, that my heart began to beat normally again._

|l|l|

That experience had been positively _terrifying_.

Wasn't there some kind of worker's code ethic thingy that he was violating by acting like that?

I groaned, rubbing at the back of my neck, dreading what was to come.

Putting up with that man was both physically and mentally draining, and I especially wasn't looking forward to today of all days; it was be worse than yesterday, and that was saying something.

VWV

By the time I'd arrived, today's work had already been dumped on my desk, waiting for me.

Ever since yesterday, it'd been easy to tell that he wanted any contact between the two of us to be the bare minimum. The jerk most likely didn't want to deal with putting up with me.

And now, eight hours later, I'd made sure to complete it all, trying hard to motivate myself and scrape together what little courage I had, praying it would be enough to get me through this.

 _C'mon… I can do this…_

It was just a door… A big… imposing door… 

_I can do this…_

Was that mahogany? The colour was actually quite nice… not cherry, but close…

 _I CAN DO THIS GODDAMN IT!_

I finally forced myself into pushing up from the desk, folders in hand, taking slow, deliberate steps towards my boss's office door -which was definitely _not_ cherry-, hoping to delay what I knew to be inevitable. I then proceeded to stand there for about five minutes in which I may or may not have been muttering to myself like a complete and utter nutter

"Are you gonna fucking stand there all day? Either get your ass in here, or get back to work, dipshit."

I really don't know how he'd known I was here, and I didn't bother questioning it, either. And I _really_ didn't want to open that door. But I did.

His glare was on me the second I entered, making my pulse race. "Well?"

I quickly scurried over, handing over the folders. "I'm d-done, sir." God, could I sound any more _pathetic_?

He took them wordlessly, eyes still on me, waiting for me to continue.

Hands now clasped together behind my back, I drew myself up to my full height -which, let's face it, when compared to him, wasn't much-, whishing I could just leave already. "I-I have to go now."

He didn't speak, choosing instead to simply watch me with those sharp eyes of his, mouth set in a firm line, eyebrows pulled together, almost like what I was saying was something he couldn't fully comprehend.

"Y-you see… I have to leave earlier on Thursdays. Komui allowed it because I told him straight out what hours I could work when I was hired," I tried, desperate to keep up this gentlemanly mask of mine, which became hard to do when my boss scoffed.

He leaned back in his chair, exuding arrogance. "Moyashi, I don't give a fuck about what you did with that idiot. You're my PA, so you do what I say. Why should I care if you have somewhere to be? Reschedule. If you can't handle it, then quit."

At his words, I could almost _feel_ my mask crack. _I will not strangle him… I will not strangle him…_ "But I have things t-"

"Stop arguing and get back to your desk."

Gritting my teeth, I tried again. "I nee-"

"I said no, Moyashi!" Yu Kanda growled tersely, eyes blazing.

Then I snapped. Why did _I_ have to take this?! Didn't I have enough shit to deal with?!

"Now listen 'ere, ya tosser; both of us only 'ave ter put up with this for one more day, then, 'opefully, we'll never see each other again." My hands had migrated from behind my back, to now at my hips, and I felt like I was in the midst of scolding a child. A bratty, douche of a child in the form of a twenty-four-year-old man. "So ya can just shut it with yer shit, an' learn some patience while yer at it, gaddamn pillock. Maybe ya could even learn ta not be such of an arse?" I was really glaring by this point, though maybe 'sneering' would be a better word choice… "An' m'name is _Allen_ , not 'Moyashi'. Though I guess a five-letter name is too 'ard for someone as daft as yerself ta remember, eh, Ba-Kan-da?"

When his mouth fell open, I nearly laughed out loud at how stupid he looked. The smug bastard had really pissed me off, and _boy_ did I feel good about myself right now.

"Wha'? Is yer pea-sized brain 'avin' a problem keepin' up with wha' it is I'm sayin'?" I huffed, tucking some loose stands of white hair behind my ear. "Blimey, ya piss me orf, ya know that, don'tcha?"

I expected him to speak up, to do _something_ , but he didn't. He just sat there with eyebrows raised, remaining quiet.

I frowned, put off by his lack of reaction. And then my head cleared.

Like as if the air had been knocked from my lungs, I couldn't breathe. "I-I mean…" Panicking, I stepped back, horrified with what I'd said. "Oh god- I am… so sorry!" I hastily bowed, covered over in a cold sweat. "P-please don't f-fire me! This won't happen again, I swear!"

For the moment, there was silence. He didn't speak, I didn't speak, just… nothing.

So that's why when he stood and strode right on over to where I was, his larger form looming over me, I had to bite down on my lower lip to stop myself from having a panic attack right then and there.

"Be here early tomorrow."

He left through the door I'd entered, and the second he was out of sight, my legs collapsed out from under me, leaving me dazedly staring at his orderly office desk.

VWV

 _I blame the lateness of this chapter on lack of incentive. But hey, at least it's here! Yay! Now I can go get some sleep! FINALLY!_

 _And look at how happy everyone is~_

 _*edit* - Apparently going to the hospital made me want to type again._


	4. Deeds

_Deeds_

 _Yu Kanda_

 _BaKanda._

That name… it was… irritating. Almost as bad as 'Yu-chan'.

On any normal day, I would've fired someone on the spot for calling me that. Or punched their lights out. Maybe both.

This was the first nickname I'd received that was so…degrading. And I'd been given a lot. Especially by my PAs.

It's just… none of them had ever spoken to me in that way before and expected to keep their job. Not one. Ever. It just _didn't happen_.

And now that he was done ranting, he looked at me with these big silver eyes, face sickly pale, the kid all upset with himself for having snapped like he did.

Aaaand now began the bowing and the profuse apologising and the… He was begging for his job.

That was a first.

Though, it was satisfying to know that I'd officially scared the shit out of the brat without having to say a single word.

Well, it was time to put an end to this.

Careful to keep the smirk from my face, I slowly made for the door, but not before throwing over my shoulder a short order of, "Be here early tomorrow," and leaving him as he was, my lips turning up at the corners when I heard the tell-tale sound of my PA slumping to the floor in what I figured was relief.

I paused halfway down the short corridor to the elevator, and then groaned, glancing back at the direction from which I'd just came from.

I didn't even know the brat's name.

… _didn't he say it was 'Allen'… or something?_

That wasn't good; it was unprofessional of me to not know something as simple as my own PA's name. There was also the matter of me not knowing his surname… Though, I hadn't ever bothered to learn the others' names, so why was this one any different? Then again, they'd been boring wastes of space who weren't worth my time of day.

This one had a bit of a bite to him, and a temper to top it off. Then there was that accent of his… _British, maybe?_ And something even better was that _this_ was _different_.

That tattoo of his looked a strange, as did the white hair and eyebrows, but other than that, he was as respectable as all the others had been, and the way he spoke was even more unbearably polite than what I was used to.

However, at least with him around, my days had the chance to no longer be so mind-numbingly monotonous.

I hated those days.

VWV

At first, I'd contemplated texting Lenalee, but I knew it would be much quicker to shove my discomfort to the side and simply call her. This also removed the chance of me making any possible spelling mistakes that, if found out by the Baka Usagi, would be held against me for the rest of my life.

Lenalee apparently had a British friend -whom I only knew of because she spoke of him at every given opportunity-, and since I'd only understood about half of the nonsense that'd come from the Moyashi's mouth, I figured she might as well able to rely on her as a human translator.

I dialled up her number, leaning against the stairway wall as I listened uninterestedly to the intermitted beeping of the device in my hand going through the sequence.

She picked up on the fifth ring.

 _{_ _Hello?_ _)_

That was surprising. Her phone was normally left with her Manager while she was as work.

"Lenalee."

 _{_ _Hey Kanda! This is rare._ _)_

"Tosser. Daft. Pillock. What do they mean?" I asked, getting straight to the point; I never was one for small talk, and she knew that perfectly well.

There was a pregnant silence on the other end.

"Oi, are you even listening?"

Then there was laughter _. {_ _Oh god!_ _)_ And giggling.

"What the hell?" I growled, glaring at the phone.

She was chucking, still. _{_ _Y-you made A-Allen angry, didn't you?_ _)_

This time it was I who grew silent. She knew the Moyashi. _How…?_

 _{_ _Daft means 'stupid', pillock means 'stupid person', and tosser means 'jerk off'; they're all British insults._ _) s_ he said, her words followed soon after by more laughter.

"That little _shit_ …" My eyebrow twitched as I my mind processed this new information, storing it away for the next time the brat insulted me. Because it _would_ happen. Then I'd get to watch the terror once again creep across his face and listen as he tried to re-ingratiate himself with me.

Or, in his case, re-re-ingratiate himself with me.

 _{_ _It's not common for him to snap so easily. Then again, you've always had a gift for doing that to people, haven't you?_ _)_

That was true. Whenever I was around, people would either a) try their best to stay out of my line of sight, b) get upset or cry for _no damn reason_ , or c) they wanted to kill me.

The people I knew personally were all exceptions; the only thing they all shared was that every single one of them was a weirdo with no sense of preservation whatsoever.

 _{_ _Oh. Everyone always wonders, but he doesn't like it when people ask him about it, so I may as well tell you now that white is his real hair colour._ _)_

 _What?_

 _{_ _Be gentle with him,_ _)_ she murmured, before cutting the line.

I stared at the phone for a moment, rightfully confused. What she'd said at the end there had sounded close to a warning, nothing at all like the usual Lenalee I'd known since kindergarten.

And the Moyashi's white hair was real?

That got me thinking about how it was she knew something like that.

It also led me to realise that I could have asked her for the Moyashi's last name.

I sighed, running a hand through my ponytail to remove any knots that may have formed. According to Lavi, I did that a lot when I was tense. I dropped my hand.

 _I want Mugen._

Ignoring that thought and searching through my phone's list of contacts, I easily found the next number: Lenalee's doting older brother.

Unlike his sister, he picked up on the very first ring.

 _{_ _My dearest Lenalee? Is that you?_ _)_

His voice was light and cheerful and I just _knew_ that the slacker was taking this as another opportunity to get out of work.

"Do I fucking _sound_ like your sister?"

A gasp. _{_ _You're not Lenalee!_ _)_ He screeched accusingly, forcing me to pull the phone away from my ear with a wince.

"If you don't have my number saved by now, that's your own damn fault!"

 _{_ _B-but I thought my dear sweet Lenalee was calling her l-loving big brother and I j-_ _)_

"Shut up," I snapped, then took a breath. I had to calm myself. This was important. "Komui, there's something we need to talk about."

 _{_ _Sure. What'cha need?_ _)_ His voice was all cheery again, nothing like it'd been only seconds earlier.

How he was able to do a complete one-eighty like that had always confounded me. This was what I meant by being surrounded by weirdos.

 _{I do have a favour to ask._ _)_

"What?" _Him_ asking for something was always a cause to be suspicious. I'd never forget the time he'd asked for a 3D printer and then the next day there were hundreds of mini-Lenalees all over the office. There's even been one in the exercise room above my office.

He didn't have clearance to that room. There was a pin number to gain access to it.

 _{_ _Don't make your temp PA quit._ _)_

"Che."

It was my choice as to what I did with my PAs.

I was about to tell him that when many muffled voices simultaneously screamed ' _get back to work Komui_ ' on his end of the line.

That, in truth, was normal. That man was infamous for slacking and leaving most of the work for his subordinates to do. The only reason he had yet to be fired was because he was a genius, and he was good at what he did. _When_ he did anything.

 _{_ _Anyway~! What is it you wanted?_ _)_

VWV

"Yu-chan~"

Lavi's voice stopped me in my tracks.

He, despite having just caught me in one off my rare good moods, one hand raised in greeting, froze the moment he set eyes -eye?- on my face. His expression soon became one of horror, and his hand relocated itself to cover his gaping mouth. "Yu-chan… wh-who'd you _kill_?"

Even his bothersome presence and questions couldn't bring me down. Not on this Friday that had me tingling with anticipation for what was to come.

"Yu-chan? Seriously man, you're freaking me out," Lavi said, trailing though the building after me . "Kanda?"

Hah. The Usagi was really worried now; him switching back to my preferred name was proof enough of that.

I continued to completely ignore him, walking straight to the elevator with a dark grin on my face.

Everyone who saw me stopped and stared. Some backed away. The receptionist dropped her bagel.

I pressed the button for the doors and then stepped back, watching the Usagi from the corner of my eye.

He was looking at me, sad and lost, like I'd ruined his game of _Let's annoy Yu-chan today_ or something stupid like that.

"Lavi."

He straightened, probably hearing the hidden excitement in what I spoke.

"Not today."

The doors dinged open, and I stepped in, leaving him there to stand by himself as they then closed on his shocked face.

Again the doors opened.

I walked down the hallway at a steady pace, relief filling me when I saw that my PA's desk was still empty.

He wasn't here yet; that was good. I hadn't had the time to finalise things yet.

I ran my eyes over the area. It was tidy, with nothing out of place. It was like he'd never been here in the first place.

On the other hand, my office was just as I'd left it yesterday: papers covered the desk, filing cabinets bulging with years' worth of documents that couldn't be left in file storage for some reason or another, a bin filled with discarded projects and requests for partnerships…

All in all, it was an alright place, well suited to my tastes. I'd designed it myself, after all. It was the same for the exercise room, and the corridor, too. That was why this floor and the one above were all done in dark blues; lighter colours simply irritated my eyes.

I relaxed into the comfort of my office chair, and reached for the mouse, soon hearing the computer whir to life at my touch.

Typing in the password… Opening the Internet browser… Logging on to my email account…

I clicked through my emails, almost groaning at how many of them there were. I quickly found what I was looking for, and pulled up the electronic file that Komui had sent at my request, immediately seeing a straight-faced Moyashi staring back at me.

The same silver eyes, pale skin, tattoo, and soft features. It was him alright.

 **Name:** _Allen Walker_.

Now I had a full name.

 **Gender:** _Male_

I was already certain about that. Sorta.

 **Age:** _Twenty-One_

… Okay, so… _apparently_ he was in his early twenties. That made him a lot closer to my own age than I'd thought he'd be. That, in its own right, was a surprise. Seriously, the kid looked seventeen or something. I'd only recently turned twenty-five, which meant that he was barely four years my junior.

 _Four years_.

There had to be limits on how young someone could look.

But in the end, that really didn't matter to me. Nothing did, except for this being maybe one of the limited chances for me to legally mess with someone's life and really _enjoy_ it, and I would most definitely take that opportunity in stride

This would be an interesting next few months.

 _If_ Allen Walker lasted that long.

VWV

 _I think part of the reason I have so much trouble writing Kanda is because he isn't the kind of person to notice much of what goes on so I don't have a lot to work with._

 _And I'm upset because this is four words below my word quota_


	5. Lacking Luck

_Lacking Luck_

 _Allen Walker_

My boss -aka, the ill-famed Yu Kanda, Vice Chairman of _The Black Order_ \- absolutely _loathed_ me; that much I could be certain of.

I hadn't done anything wrong. At least, nothing that I was consciously aware of. I'd followed his instructions to the letter and done everything he'd asked, and yet it was clear as day that he had it out for me.

He wanted me in early tomorrow, and I sure as hell would do it, if only to keep my job.

From what he'd said, it didn't sound like I was fired, so for now, all I could do was hope.

And if I could hold out until tomorrow, I'd be down with Komui by next week, and these four days of heated sporadic encounters would be nothing more than a bad memory that I could laugh about over a cup of coffee -or, in my case, tea- with Lenalee whenever I saw her next.

Nodding to myself, I turned on the radio, then eased my nice little grey car into reverse, eyes on the rear-view mirror.

As it so happened, I seemed to have relaxed too early, seeing as I nearly rammed into a nearby pillar of stone helping to hold up the underground carpark, distracted quite suddenly by the hatefully familiar tune playing through the speakers.

My grip on the wheel tightened, and it was pride alone that had me blatantly refuse to change to a different channel. Because I was _above_ this. I didn't _need_ to go out of my way to avoid something as simple as a stupid _song_.

It was fine.

 _I_ was fine.

.

 _-What would you do if your son was at home-_

 _-Crying all alone-_

 _-On the bedroom floor-_

 _-Cause he's hungry and the only way to feed him is to-_

 _-Sleep with a man for a little bit of money?-_

.

I tried desperately to tune it out, focus now on exiting the carpark and reaching the black bitumen road that would stretch out before my car, with strips of white running down the middle, other cars on either side.

I'd have to get my act together if I didn't want to risk causing an accident.

Eyeing the area around my automobile for any possible hazards, I chewed my bottom lip frustratedly, tasting something metallic on my tongue.

 _._

 _-So for you this is just a good time-_

 _-But for me this is what I call life-_

.

I really, really hated this song, and most of that stemmed from that fact that a decent portion of the lyrics described much of my shoddy life to the T.

 _._

 _-Girl, you ain't the only one to have a baby-_

 _-That's no excuse to be living all crazy-_

 _-So she stared me right square in the eye-_

 _-And said, "Every day I wake up, hoping to die"-_

.

They described everything _so_ _painfully well_.

 _._

 _-"Before I was a teenager-_

 _-I done been through more shit-_

 _-You can't even relate to"-_

.

Half of them sounded as if they were made to mock me, along with everything I'd ever done.

 _._

 _-What would you do?-_

 _-Get up off my feet and stop making tired excuses-_

.

They urged me to do things that, at the time, had been simply impossible.

To do things I hadn't been able to do.

To _try_.

 _._

 _-What would you do if your son was at home-_

 _-Crying all alone-_

 _-On the bedroom floor-_

 _\- Cause he's hungry?-_

.

My hands shook, and the tiny section of my brain controlling what little rationality I had left was thankful that the light I'd reached was red, because I couldn't see a thing through the thick veil of tears streaming down my face.

" _I would do anything_."

If only things were as easy as songs made them out to be.

VWV

I slapped my cheeks, staring into the small mirror to get another good look at my pitiful reflection.

It wasn't _that_ noticeable anymore, but they'd know I'd been crying. Especially Katerina. Somehow, she always knew.

Sighing heavily, I reluctantly climbed from the car, and was soon trudging sluggishly along the sidewalk, hands stuffed in my pockets to protect them from the cold. It'd been a long day, and to be honest, I just wanted to go home, have a shower, eat dinner, then fall asleep in my bed.

I used the wooden steps as opposed to taking the ramp that spanned the length of the centre. Usually I opted for the ramp, but not today.

Gently, I pushed open the door, causing the colourful papers pinned to the walls to flutter with the wind that followed in after me.

The door swung shut when I stepped in and let it go, the warmth of the room chasing away the biting chill and improving my mood, if only slightly.

Krory spotted me immediately, and he offered up a nervous nod in greeting, his pale right hand seizing the black clipboard from the counter. "Good afternoon, Mr Walker," he murmured, uneasily shifting his thin frame from one foot to the other, not looking me directly in the eye. "Sorry about this." He fretfully smoothed his black hair down, trying to hide from me behind the strip of white that fell over his face.

I shrugged, taking the clipboard held out to me. "It's fine. I know you can't stay open longer on Thursdays, and I've told you already that it doesn't inconvenience me at all." I wrote down my signature and the time three times each, then gave Krory a polite smile.

He relaxed almost instantly.

It was always like this.

I waved to Eliade, the voluptuous blonde seated with five kids around the twins' age, and she waved back, before nodding in the direction of the reading corner.

Smile now rueful, I stepped my way through the piles of little Lego people and tubs of Play-Doh, to the corner filled with beanbags, books, and three chatting children. When they spotted me, their conversation ceased, and their little faces brightened.

The next thing I knew, my sons rammed right into me.

They were truly a force to be reckoned with; they'd knock me down someday soon if I wasn't careful.

"You nearly killed me," I accused, only to sigh melodramatically when they beamed up at me.

Taking no notice of my words, Mana cheerfully said, "Hi daddy!"

Neah tugged my shirt and mumbled, "Hey."

"Good afternoon Neah, Mana." I rested a hand on the top of their heads, mussing their dark hair. "Get your bags."

The both of them nodded and scampered off, managing to avoid the death-traps spread out all over the floor.

Katerina, however, remained where she was, sitting silently on the lime green beanbag.

I knelt down, bopping her on the nose. "Were you good today?"

She huffed, puffing her cheeks out indignantly. " _Of course_ I was." Then she frowned, peering up at me with those all-seeing eyes of hers. "Are you… okay?"

Faking a pout, I copied her huff. " _Of course_ I am."

When she looked at me uncertainly, I brushed her fringe out of the way and kissed her forehead, lips remaining pressed there for a while longer than necessary as my eyes closed in shame.

"Go get your bag, sweetheart."

 _Of course_ she'd picked up on in.

VWV

The phone rang while I was in the midst of drying my hair, and I let the towel rest around my shoulders as I retrieved my phone, accepting the FaceTime request once I'd identified my caller.

Lenalee's face appeared almost instantly, and her scary _knowing_ grin sent shivers down my spine. "How was work?"

"Fine." I swallowed thickly, setting the phone down on the flat chestnut surface of my stomach-high dresser. Hands now free, I grabbed the pair of grey boxers I'd set out and tugged them on. "Just a normal day… Why do you ask?"

"That's not what I heard."

 _She knows._

I retrieved the phone, peering down at it guiltily as I sat down on the edge of my bed. "I may 'ave gotten into an argy bargy with the boss."

She laughed into her hand, and the video feed wobbled. "Wherein you insulted him in British slang?"

"How do you know so much?" My spare hand seized the white pyjama pants beside me, and I -with a reasonable amount of difficulty- stuck my right leg through the matching pants leg.

"Kanda and I are childhood friends. He couldn't understand what you said and heard I had a British friend," Lenalee explained, kind purple eyes twinkling.

I tilted my head to the side, feeling myself frown. "But aren't I the only British person you know?" As I spoke, I attempted to get my other leg into my pants using only one hand to help me, and was somehow failing miserably.

She nodded, eyebrows raised as if I was missing something obvious. " _You're_ my British friend."

 _Oh._

"It was only your third day" she chided, returning to the original topic, still visibly grinning at me. She was having way too much fun with this. "Neither you nor Kanda are very good at keeping your anger in check. You two are so similar its funny."

I bristled, grimacing at the mere thought of being considered similar to… that _thing_. "I'm nothing like that pompous prick!"

"Sure," the green-haired woman said disbelieving. "By the way, you should probably finish getting dressed. You don't want to catch a cold now, do you?" She made a show of eyeing up and down what she could see of me, and then winked.

"Thank you, dear sister, for your lovely words of advice." At least she couldn't see that I'd started putting my pants on back-to-front. She'd get an even bigger kick out of that.

"Anything for you, dear brother."

VWV

I scooped Mana and Neah up off the couch and into my arms, smiling softly as they sleepily clung to me, deciding then and there that they were sleeping with me tonight. Katerina padded after me, and when I glanced back, she was rubbing at her eyes in a way that made me melt. Biting lightly on my lip to contain myself -because I was _not_ goddamn _Komui_ -, I carried my two youngest children up to my room, and gently deposited them on top of the blankets, resting their heads on my pillows. I then pulled the sheets out from under them, taking care not to wake them up in the process.

Katerina crawled up beside them, flopping down the second she was at the top of the bed.

I slid in between Neah and Mana, pulling the blankets over all four of us.

"Sweet dreams, Katie," I whispered, reaching over Neah to stroke her cheek, chest warming when she made a tired noise and rolled over, face in the pillow.

I closed my eyes, and, eventually, sleep took me too.

|I|I|

" _You're up."_

 _Those words instilled in me a cold, familiar fear that clawed at my heart and made my knees go weak, but nevertheless, I stood and followed the woman, aware of the consequences if I were to disobey._

 _She pushed open a heavy wooden door, her frumpy body blocking the interior from my sight._

 _It didn't fail to escape my notice that this was one of the more expensive rooms, reserved for our more… loyal customers._

" _Thank you for coming by. I'm sure you'll be most pleased with your purchase."_

 _She stepped to the side, expression changing to a glare the moment she looked down at me._

 _Keeping my face clear of emotion, I stepped past her, eyes soon locating the man swathed in shadows seated on a lush crimson armchair that directly faced the end of the bed, his feet propped up on the little carved stool roughly a metre away._

 _I recognised him from the descriptions some of the older boys had given me; this was one of those regulars who liked to hop from one underage prostitute to the next, and had recently taken an interest in this place's 'Exotic Section'._

 _That meant any of us who couldn't exactly be categorised any other way._

 _We were the_ rejects _._

 _My hair was white, my face was scared, and I came with an arm sleave; the only customers who picked me were always into the freaky stuff. Or they were the type to get off on feelings of pity for the person they were screwing._

 _However, none of that mattered right now._

 _What_ did _matter was the needs of the customer._

 _I had to do the best I could to please him in any way I could, else my food privileges for the month would suffer. They were already meagre as is, so I couldn't afford for them to take a hit._

 _I would do what was required of me, if only to survive._

 _Behind me, the door clicked shut, and that's when I noticed the young girl up on the bed._

 _She only appeared to be but a few years older than I, presumably in her mid-teens, eyes obscured by her thick fringe. The girl's body was already completely nude, and her skin was the warm colour of coffee._

 _Random narrow beams of white light illuminated different parts of the black-and-red themed room, only serving to intensify the sensual air this place held._

 _I heard the man mutter, and I vaguely picked up on him telling me to strip._

Ah.

 _So_ that's _what he wanted._

 _It seemed like he wouldn't be participating after all._

 _The heavy dark red robe slipped from my body to the floor, leaving me exposed to the perverted gaze of that man raking over my near-bear form, the long red glove I wore in no way saving me from the humiliation. It was only there to conceal my arm; nothing more, nothing less._

 _I climbed up on the bed, kneeling in front of the girl, hands resting beside my thighs._

 _With a faint amount of surprise, I saw that her red-painted lips were in a thin, unhappy line._

"Sorry _."_

 _It was faint, but I still heard it. I definitely heard it._

 _Softly, I shook my head and tucked a stray lock of red/brown behind her ear; it had looked like it was in the way. "It's not your fault."_

 _She moved and pushed me down so that I was beneath her, before leaning down and kissing me quietly, and when I looked into her eyes, I saw_ gold _._

|I|I|

When I abruptly woke, my mind went into instant overdrive to assess my current condition.

My pyjamas were disgustingly sticky and clung uncomfortably to various parts my body.

My breathing was ragged like I'd just finished a marathon.

My head ached terribly.

My nose was clogged.

" _Daddy_?"

The voice was small and tentative, but it was enough to make me aware of the weight on my chest and the light pressure on my cheeks.

My eyes flew open, focussing on Katerina above me, who held my face in her small shaking hands. Big fat tears fell down her pale face, which was drawn with worry and dread.

Twin whines drew my attention to my two boys, their legs tucked beneath them as they knelt by me on my left, watching me with the very same cluttered expression as Katie.

I found that I could not look at a single one of my children without feeling like my stupid heart would tear itself in two from the ignominy of it all.

Bumping Katerina in the process, I wiped my face, and my hand came back wet. She took my hand and held it tightly, sniffling loudly.

"Katie?" It hurt my throat to talk. "S-sorry…" I coughed, trying to hide the roughness of my voice, and then I sniffed. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I didn't mean to frighten you."

Not even opening her mouth to speak again, my daughter moved off of my stomach to my right side, though never released my hand.

Neah edged closer, and my second oldest -by fourteen minutes- tugged on his brother's shirt, staring at the slightly-younger boy as though seeking confirmation for something. When Neah nodded, Mana threw himself at me.

I caught him with my one free arm, and pushed myself up into a sitting position so that I'd be able to hold him better, readjusting him so that his legs were on either side of my waist and his little arms were clenching the fabric of my shirt. I couldn't really do much about that last part.

He whined, pressing his runny nose into my neck.

"Shh… Daddy's here… I'm sorry baby… Shhh…" I chose to speak nothing of the dampness of my shoulder. "Breath baby… I'm right here… I'm okay… You're okay too, see?" My disfigured hand rubbed a straight line up and down his back while I spoke, my touch and words soothing him to the best of their ability. "I guess daddy's been a bit silly… Waking up like that wasn't very smart of me… Silly daddy… "

Mana hiccupped messily, and his head bobbed along to what I'd said.

Good. A response.

"So you agree?" The rubbing was upgraded to a fast-paced version of patting. "I guess you're right. I should probably be scolded for that. How about it? Do you want to be the one to tell daddy how silly he's been?"

Mana obstinately shook his head, the movement accompanied by a low sound of disapproval.

"Then should Neah do it? Or how about Katie? You know how much she likes to do that." I was smiling again now. It hurt to do, and I didn't really feel like it, but I had to. That's what they needed from me. "Maybe we should save that for the morning. You have school tomorrow, don't you? If we don't go back to sleep, we'll all be _super_ tired and grumpy when we wake up."

I felt Katerina squeeze my hand.

"Yeah? What do you say?" This was not okay. It brought me actual _pain_ to keep this charade going. I didn't have nearly enough sleep for it.

Silence followed my query.

"Mana? Did you fall asleep?"

His smaller body moving back a smidge was the only real warning I received before his fist connected with my forehead, causing me to flinch back and wack myself on the headboard of my bed. I held my tongue, habitually stopping myself from cursing in front of these three.

The anger in his brown eyes came as a surprise. Mana was _never_ violent. He was the virtually harmless one, the kind of kid who hated conflict or all kinds.

"Stop _smiling_."

"But isn't it better to smile?" I asked softly, raising my left hand to gently push back his fringe.

Katie positioned my arm around her body, shifting closer so that she was side-by-side with Mana. "Not when you look like you're about to break." She pushed her face into the right half of my stomach. "We don't like it when you do that."

Her words made my heart clench harshly inside of my chest. "Am I… really that bad a father?"

"No," all three responded, instantly and without a shred of hesitation.

I was completely unworthy of that. Of this. Of _them_.

It was bad enough that I'd brought them into this world -into that _nuthouse_ \- and put them at risk, but to think I'd actually forced them to go through that madness because _I'd wanted a_ _family_ …

How selfish of me.

My bitter tears overflowing was the signal that I was beginning to break down. That wasn't good. Not _now_. I _wasn't supposed to do this_ around _them_.

I hated it when they saw this ugly side of me.

Two small bodies latched onto my left, and although I couldn't see who they were, I knew without a doubt that they were the boys.

I was really crying now, bawling like a child as I opened my mouth to speak through my horrid-sounding gasps for air. "But… don't you… aren't you … Don't you want… better?"

"We want _you_!" That voice was male. More insistent. Resolute. "You're our daddy and that's what we want! _Nothing else_ is better!" It was Neah for sure.

"W-what about… someone else…? Don't you want a… mommy or something?"

"We only want a mommy if you want one!" A softer voice proclaimed. This one was Mana.

"Or another daddy," Katerina added, her fingers brushing away my new tears.

Their kind words only made my sobs renew themselves with force, louder than before, and the three of them all hugged me tighter.

"Whatever you want," she whispered, smiling delicately, like I'd break if she wasn't careful enough. "It's your life."

Her silver eyes were looking at me so very softly, and that only made me feel worse.

Those pretty silver eyes that suited her much more than they did me. The colour contrasted nicely with her hair, whereas on me, they only made me look that much more like a ghost.

 _Lifeless_ , someone had once said.

That was true.

Then maybe, in that way messed-up way, they _did_ suit me.

VWV

Crying myself out had left me feeling _fan-bloody-tastic_.

Despite my reaction last night, such dreams were a frequent occurrence. Or, that was true in part; their number had dropped significantly this past half-decade.

I was usually much better at controlling myself, especially when I was in front of my children. Often I tried to keep them unexposed to that side of me. They didn't need that in their lives.

Luckily, they'd seemed far better this morning than they had last night, though I'd have to be a fool to believe that the incident was forgotten.

However, I would not let that ruin my day, because it was finally _Friday_. Today was the last I'd ever see of arsehole and his stupidly smug face!

As per his orders from yesterday, I arrived about half an hour earlier than usual.

I made it to my temporary office without incident, and was rather surprised to find Komui standing in the doorway to Kanda's office. When he saw me, the purple-haired man immediately rushed over and threw his arms around me. "Congratulations, Allen!"

 _Huh?_

He pulled back, grinning widely, then took my hands and shook them vigorously. "I didn't know what to do since no one wanted the job, but thank you thank you _thank you_!"

I was still at a complete loss.

He must've seen the blank look on my face, because he squeezed my fingers tightly, to the point I could've sworn they'd lost blood circulation; their colour probably bordered on purple beneath my gloves. "The promotion! You're Kanda's permanent PA, effective immediately."

I ripped my hands from his, startling both myself and him. "I-I thought you said it'd would o-only be temporary!" I hadn't agreed to this. _One week_. That was the most I could endure. Any longer and one of us would end up dead.

"Kanda made it a full-time thing," Komui explained, waving his hand through the air as if trying to shoo the pesky notion away. "For him to actually make the request is amazing!"

 _Komui… Don't you dare…_

"I… No… I can't…"

"Allen, you said you'd be his PA." Behind his glasses, I could see the desperation in his eyes, which were silently begging me to do this for him. "You're taking this promotion, _right_?"

I slowly turned my head back to the doorway of the connecting office, only to find the blue-eyed man standing there, smirking at my apparent horror.

Somehow I'd incurred his wrath, and this was how the demonic being I called my boss had chosen to punish me. Was it because I'd left early? Because I'd had the gall to yell at him and then request that I keep my job? Because he was a jerk?

"P-please tell me that this i-is all some kind of sick joke…" My fingers twitched, and I anxiously rubbed at my left wrist. "Sir," I quickly added. I needed him to at least be in some semblance of a good mood to have any chance of escaping this situation.

He chuckled a little at my words -scaring the hell out of me in the process-, and the corners of his lips twitched, like they were ready to pull his face into an even more frightening expression.

I sincerely hoped they didn't. If he exposed those teeth of his, he'd look like some kind of predator. My poor heart didn't need that right now.

My emotional state was still fairly brittle from last night's surprise.

"There's no joke."

"If th-this is about y-yesterday, I already apologised! I didn't mean to snap! I swear! Sir, please don't do this to me! _Choose someone else_!" If I had to resort to pleading, so be it. Anyone working directly under him for _any_ period of time longer than this was a disaster in the making, and I personally didn't want to be at the epicentre when it hit.

"Oh this isn't about yesterday." He strode over with confident, smooth steps, courtesy of his long legs and massive ego, and then, as if to add further insult to injury, he bent slightly, lowering himself down to my height. "Now get to work, _Allen_."

The way he said my name made my blood run cold, and I couldn't help but shudder.

VWV

 _Their mother is a no-named OC. She was originally going to be Katerina until I made Katerina one of his children too. Her only purpose is to explain where the kids came from and add some backstory._

 _Also, I have a question:_ _Since Neah's and Mana's hair (in the anime) is purple, should I change the colour here (in this story) to purple?_


	6. Lost

_Lost_

 _Yu Kanda_

It was the second Tuesday of the Moyashi working as my full-time PA, and I could honestly say that this arrangement was providing to be more fun than I'd initially thought it would.

Going out of my way to anger him had turned into a game of sorts, one that left him looking like he was ready to blow a gasket at any given moment. It was interesting to watch him have to physically restrain himself from cussing up a storm. Though, he was definitely getting better at holding himself back and hiding behind those plastic smiles of his. Interestingly enough, he seemed determined not to snap as easily as he had the before.

That only made this that much more enjoyable. I liked the challenge.

Every one of our encounters only pushed him that much closer to the edge, and I was pleased to find that he was already so very close to breaking point.

The constant boredom and annoyance I'd felt all these years was forgotten; he made it all go away.

I didn't call him by his name again, but that one time I _had_ , his reaction had made it worthwhile; he'd looked like his little world was crashing down around him.

None of this would be even remotely possible if he weren't such a pushover. This was probably the first time ever I was actually able to tolerated someone like that.

Smirking silently to myself, I rubbed the back of my neck.

The papers I'd been working on for the last two hours now were signed and dated; all they'd really needed was my signature to say that I'd read over them. Now they had to go downstairs and be stored away for who-knows-how-long. I, however, did not want to make the trip there and back, so I'd just add this to the ever-growing list of menial errands I'd had him run for me these past eight days.

"Moyashi!" I called, straightening the pile of papers and slipping them into a transparent plastic folder. After waiting a few quiet seconds -and receiving no answer-, my smirk grew as I readied myself for the next round.

I pushed myself up, hands on the hard wooden surface of my desk, and leisurely made my way to the door that connected my office to his area.

His head was down, soft-looking white hair falling down his shoulders.

I'd said lighter colours irritated me, and that was the truth. They did -he did-, but this pale, sorry excuse for an adult provided me with entertainment, so his kind of annoying was bearable.

Slipping closer, I took great care to be discreet with my movements and not make any noises that would alert him to my presence.

He tilted his head to the side, -working out a crick in his neck, if the small crack I heard was anything to go by- and it turned out that my caution was unnecessary. He had a pair of black headphones in his ears. With those things in, it was no wonder he hadn't heard answered when called.

 _I should probably tell him off for that._

His gloved fingers were flying across the keyboard as he typed, focus fully on the screen, where I could see the faint copy of him biting gently on his bottom lip as light reflected off of the lenses of his thin-framed glasses.

I peered over his shoulder and recognised the document as work related; the title of it suggested that it was what I'd given him earlier, and close to completion at that.

Since he was working so efficiently, I decided that I wouldn't scold him. Not this time, at least.

That didn't mean I couldn't find my fun some other way.

I leaned in closer to him, smug with the knowledge that he still had yet to notice me. This was a good an opportunity as any to give the brat a scare.

" _Mo-ya-shi_ ," I whispered roughly, nipping the outer shell of his ear with my lips.

He tensed, and then yelped, falling anything but gracefully from his swivel office chair, taking the dark piece of furniture crashing down with him. The movement ripped his headphones from his ears, and they swung, their arcs noticeably shortening as their swings gradually lost momentum.

I reflexively quirked a brow, eyes on the brat staring blankly up at me from the floor behind his crooked glasses.

He was clutching his ear, which, judging from his reaction, was a sensitive point. That was interesting to know, so I filed the knowledge away for later; it could be used to my advantage sometime in the future. Somehow.

Pretending as if I hadn't just mentally plotted yet another way to mess with my midget of a PA, I waved the folder in my hand, drawing his attention to it. "Take this down to File Storage, damn spaz."

He blushed, gave me a quick nod of acknowledgment, and then stood, still obviously dazed.

"Could this day get any worse?" He mumbled, removing his hand from his ear and taking his glasses off to set them down on the desk.

I don't think I was meant to hear that.

VWV

It should have been simple. He should have been there and back in ten minutes. Maybe fifteen, if he was stopped along the way.

So why, more than two hours later, had the Moyashi yet to return?

The elevator doors pinged open and I irately stomped my way to the damn sister-complex's office. Since the Moyashi would have had to have gone past Komui's section to reach the stairs that lead to File Storage, I'd ask that slacking bastard if he'd seen the brat.

I turned the knob and threw open the door, not bothering to go through the formality of knocking. I never had before, so there was no reason for me to start now.

"I sent him down here hours ago! Where the fuck is he?"

Komui and Reever started in surprise, quite literally dropping what they'd been doing.

 _Are those this year's winter designs?_

"Waah~, it's rare for you to come here yourself," Komui said, scrunching up a piece of paper and throwing it in the trash.

"Answer my question."

Reever -who'd collected the ball of paper from the trash and was now carefully smoothing it out- gave a deep sigh. " _Who_? We're not exactly mind readers, Kanda."

"The brat!" I snapped exasperatedly, already regretting leaving my office.

"Allen?" Reever was frowning, his forehead creased. "Why would he be _here_?"

"Because I had him take something downstairs."

Komui and Reever both paled at the same time, then the sandy-haired Australian took a couple slow steps around the desk, the paper laying wrinkled and forgotten on Komui's cluttered floor. "Please… tell me that you didn't send Allen down to File Storage."

"Without supervision," Komui added worriedly, touching his glasses.

My chest clenched with apprehension.

Directly below Komui was Reever, our European Branch's Section Leader. His eyes were brown in colour, close to grey. His hair was a murky blond that could, on occasion, be mistaken for brown. His chin showed signs of stubble. His clothes were causal; not classy, but respectable. He was a focussed man with a good work ethic. He was normal, average in all aspects.

Komui was the Chief Officer, the person in charge of the Section Leaders, who were, in turn, the boss of all the regular workers doing the grunt work that formed the foundation of this business.

His eccentricity was widely-known throughout the company, and it was Reever's normalcy that reigned him in and actually managed to get the idiot to produce such outstanding results -with the occasional mishap, but Reever couldn't be with Komui 24/7, so these things were to be expected. However, if Komui tried to feed the printer coffee one more fucking time…-.

An odd relationship, yes, but it worked.

They were competent workers that I, myself, had employed.

And that was why the reactions they displayed to my questions raised warning flags in my mind. "I did," I said, watching the two of them share a look I didn't understand.

"Oh dear…" The Chinese man brought the palm of his hand to his forehead and groaned, squeezing his purple eyes shut. "You see…"

"Allen can't find his way out of a wet paper bag," Reever said, looking at me wearily, like he didn't have the strength to deal with this anymore.

"What? He's in _File Storage._ Are you trying to tell me that the Moyashi's _lost_?"

Reever rubbed the back of his neck, moving to lean against Komui's desk. "His sense of direction is horrible. It wouldn't be the first time the kid's done this."

"What happened the first time?" I demanded -asked with a firm tone-. While I normally wasn't one to inquire about such a thing, I had to admit that my curiosity had been piqued.

Finding out people's weaknesses was a hobby of mine. This made four for him: weak to authority, naïve, sensitive ears, and no sense of direction whatsoever.

"It took us _six hours_ to realise he hadn't returned." Reever covered his face with both hands, sighing tiredly. "We found him a couple corridors away from the stairs muttering about how stupid the building's layout is."

Picturing it, -picturing that little white-haired brat all irritated and muttering and _lost_ \- I snorted. Yeah, this would most definitely be something to hold over the Moyashi's head.

VWV

There was a thin sheet of dust that had found its rest on the door handles, and the air down here was stale and undisturbed.

No one came down here that often; things were stored in office cabinets until they were either forgotten or there was no longer any room for them.

Really, it wasn't that complicated. File storage was an area consisting of roughly three-dozen rooms and less than half as many corridors. This was where all the company's documents were stored: copies of contracts, employee information, etcetera, etcetera.

I personally, came down here even less regularly than everyone else. My PA's had always done this stuff for me, allowing me to stay holed up in my office -or my personal training room- until the end of the day.

Even with that, _it wasn't that complicated_.

I peeked down the nearest intersection of walkways.

Nothing.

I opened a door, my eyes scanning over the huge cabinets filled with records of meetings and discarded designs.

Nothing.

I shut the door and looked around myself.

 _Nothing_.

"So fucking troublesome…" I grumbled. "How the fuck do you even get lost down here?" I stuffed my hands into my pockets to protect them from the fucking _freezing_ chill that the AC units were creating. "…do we have to put up signs or something now? Che… This isn't a fucking day-care centre…"

Deducing that he wasn't in the section of the storage area, I made for the next hallway, continuing on with my mission.

My search ended when I finally spotted that annoying head of white curled up in a ball, arms wrapped around his legs and chin resting on his knees, glaring sulkily at the floor like a child.

I sighed on reflex, running a hand through my long ponytail. "Hey, idiot."

Silver eyes -that had filled with hope the moment he'd heard me speak- turned dismayed when they registered who exactly it was that had found them.

"Can't you do _anything_ right?"

He stood, visibly offended. " _Apparently not_ ," he muttered, not looking me in the eyes.

His reactions were what made this interesting and worthwhile. It was a good thing I'd come down here. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy the show of his shame showing through in the red that crept up his neck and stained his cheeks. A magnificent sight indeed.

"Hah. At least you're aware of it."

Suddenly, the Moyashi caught my wrist in a surprisingly strong grip with his left hand, squeezing it to the point that it actually hurt. "Are you punishing me for something? S'tha it?!" At the slip, he hissed, and took in a breath to calm himself. "If… it is, please tell me, and I'll fix it. I swear."

By now, he was looking up at me with those pleading grey eyes.

It wasn't a complete victory -and it wouldn't be until he swore-, but he'd slipped back into that accent of his, if only momentarily. So, for today, I was satisfied.

People had way too much pride. Myself included.

They thought that they were the best, that they were infallible, and they pushed themselves to the limit to prove it. But this kid was different. He wasn't above lowering himself, wasn't above sucking up and pretending everything was just fine.

And he kept his true thoughts and feelings at bay until he could take it no longer. Until he was pushed to the very edge.

That was my goal.

Calmly, I twisted my wrist out from his hold, resisting the urge to rub where he'd touched and check to see if he'd left a mark. "Maybe I should leave you here to cool off for a few more hours."

All colour -or what little of it there was- drained from his face. " _Don't leave me here_!" His hands made to grab at me again, only to stop short of actually making contact, hovering barely a centimetre away, unsure of what they were supposed to do.

I smirked down at him, folding my arms loosely across my chest. "Fine, but you owe me for this."

The Moyashi's eyes went wide as dinner plates, then he glowered at the nearest wall, jaw clenched, but dropped his hands to his sides. "You…" He took in another breath. "Thank you… for helping me," he grumbled, tone harshly contradicting his words.

We both knew he wasn't truly thankful, but he had the manners to at least give thanks when it was due.

"I'm going to collect my favour whenever I see fit, Moyashi. You hear me?"

The kid nodded glumly, and beneath his breath he mumbled, "When I asked if this day could get any worse, I didn't intend for you to take that as a personal challenge."

I had to place a hand over my mouth to hide the grin I'd failed to supress.

VWV

 _In my last chapter when I said that the twins' mother is a no-names OC, I actually meant that_ _she has no name_ _, as in she, as a person, was not given one._


	7. Meetings

_Meetings_

 _Allen Walker_

This place was my own personal hell.

Every corridor, every wall, every door, every _thing_ was the same.

I was still unsure about if _that bastard_ knew about my… problems with directions, but I wouldn't put it past him to have sent me down here knowing that I wouldn't be able to make it back.

Even before sending me down here, he'd been working to mess with me as much as he could in the time we were together. The worst so far was when he'd given me a near heart attack by suddenly touching my ear while I was in the middle of work. I'd been so focussed on what I was doing that I hadn't even sensed him behind me. I'd admit that I was partially at fault for that though.

Komui had allowed headphones because he knew of my condition, but I'd never checked with Kanda. Still, that had been a horrible way for him to get my attention.

Back to the present matter though: I was lost.

VWV

I shuddered at the thought of what kind of favour Kanda would ask of me, following him through a door that I was pretty sure didn't lead upstairs. All past experiences I had involving favours were… less than pleasant. Lenalee's usually consisted of getting me into women's clothes.

Personally, I hated dresses.

They were really breezy down below, and I wasn't used to such… freedom. I mean, the thin material clinging and hanging from various parts of my body offered little to no protection or cover, so I didn't see the point in wearing them.

I really didn't like them. They were horrible.

"Oi."

I looked up, only now noticing his fingers running along the spines of a long row of binders stored up on a bookshelf. He selected a red one, pulling it down from its place, before absently holding out his free hand to me.

Confused, I stared at the appendage, then at him, and then back at it. "Huh?"

He dragged his dark eyes over to where I stood, blankly assessing me as an awkward silence settled between us. Kanda made no move or sound, instead just stood there with his hand still out, waiting.

What did he want? Did I have something he needed?

Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I glanced down at the manila folder in my gloved hands.

Was… this what he wanted?

I uncertainly raised the folder, and watched as he rolled his eyes.

"Idiot," he muttered, taking the object from me and attaching it to the metal rings of the binder. When the documents were secure, Kanda shut the binder and slid it back between two black ones. Then he was staring at me again, making me feel like even more of a fool.

What did he want now? I was certain that I didn't have anything else to give him.

His probing gaze drifted up a little, directed at a place slightly above my eyes, asking a silent question which I heard loud and clear.

A normal person wouldn't have noticed, but I immediately understood. After having everyone stare at my imperfections for so long, I _knew_. The questions -when actually asked- were always the same. _Always_.

"It's not a tattoo, sir," I relented quietly, straightening my posture and subconsciously touching the tear-streak mark in my cheek. "It's a scar."

"Che. I didn't ask," he snapped, a defensive note to his tone. He was still looking at me though, expression neutral.

It made me feel on edge. I was never one to appreciate being stared at like that. Eyes retreating to the floor, I waited with baited breath, curious to see how this would play out. I was almost certain that he'd simply pretend as if I hadn't said anything. That suited his unpleasant personality more than any of the other scenario I could think up.

That was why I was caught off guard when a hand entered my vision, reached for my face. I had no time to mentally prepare myself, and flinched as cool fingers made contact with my skin.

Kanda took care to be soft, tracing it with a careful thumb, from the tip of the upturned star, right down to where my scar ended by my mouth. His hand then moved to cup my cheek, turning my face to the side and inspecting it. Next, he tilted my head back, frowning now. His thumb moved, swiping over my bottom lip, eyes revealing just how deep in concentration he truly was. Kanda's thumb then retreated back up my scar, trailing over the groove in my face as he examined it, eyebrows drawn together.

I watched him study the blight carved into my skin, keeping myself unnaturally still. This person was still my boss. I needed this job, which made angering him was something I could not afford to do.

Eventually, he snapped out of it, and the hand fell from my face.

I found it odd. He was a jerk, but he'd been far gentler with me than the people of my past.

They did it _roughly_ with their _grimy fingers_ and _filthy hands_ , _perverse looks_ on their _ugly faces_.

Or even worse. With their _slimy tongues_ , _horrid breath_ washing over my face as they _panted_.

I fought back a shiver as unpleasant memories resurfaced, attempting instead to focus on my boss, who looked really, really uncomfortable.

Not that I could blame him. I was uncomfortable too.

Thinking and talking about this was making my chest hurt. It made everything hurt.

"I… did something wrong, and was punished for it." I said stiffly, offering up a strained smile to hide my distress.

By 'something wrong', I meant stealing. Pickpocketing, in fact.

That one stupid mistake had led to a lifetime of hell. Even now, after all this time had passed, I was still suffering. There was the C-PTSD, the nightmares, the trust issues, the depression, a mild case of phonophobia and the occasional break down or panic attack.

Pills and therapists hadn't been able to help me, so I'd already give up on them.

"With a knife?"

"Yeah," I admitted softly. It was easy to be honest like this when faced with his calm blue eyes; I did better talking to people when they weren't overly emotional.

That was why my guard flew back up when, in a tone containing a hidden hint of anger that contradicted his nonchalant demeanour, Kanda asked, "Who?"

I shrugged my shoulders, moving back a few paces. The two of us knew next to nothing about each other, so saying anything more was something I would not do.

He obviously hadn't read what was written in my contract. Which was a good thing, considering there was a line that mentioned my children. It was put down as the reason I left so early on Thursdays.

This person didn't give a damn about others in general.

He didn't know me.

I didn't know him.

Still, there was something in the indifferent look he gave me that told me maybe, just maybe, he understood. He understood what it was like to suffer.

I'd heard the story; those vultures known as the press had leaked it awhile back after Kanda's promotion to Vice Chairman. The headline had been something like ' _Biological parents murdered, adopted by billionaire Froi Tiedoll_ '.

Sure, maybe what he'd gone through wasn't anything like the suffering I'd had to deal with, but it was still pretty bad.

"We're going back up," he said, pulling me away from the vortex of thoughts whirling around in my head.

He started walking before giving me a chance to say anything, each stride longer than mine could ever hope to be.

I followed close behind him at a quickened pace, not wanting to get left behind.

By the time we'd made it back to his spacious office, I was panting softly, the faint layer of sweat sticking to my body making my clothes feel itchy against my skin.

"I might have to start sending someone else down to File Storage, seeing as I won't be able to go down and fetch you every time you get lost."

And _there_ was that expression again.

My boss was smirking way too much these days; surely his cheeks had to hurt.

That look was one that made me wary. His smirks sent chills down my spine whenever I saw them, and it didn't help that nothing ever went well for me when he made that face.

That was why I was completely surprised when he neither said nor did anything to me, instead turning to the right and moving to tug open the room's set of dark curtains, revealing the gloomily overcast sky outside.

 _Damn him… putting me on edge for no reason…_

Giving in to one of my more childish urges, I poked out my tongue at his back.

He snorted, then released the curtains. "I saw that."

I flinched and stuck my tongue back where it belonged, but was quick to calm myself, knowing that it was impossible for him to have seen me. Not when he wasn't even looking at me.

Then I caught sight of my transparent nervous reflection in the massive glass wall. The _reflective_ glass wall, which Kanda was staring at, another of those irritating smirks sitting on his stupidly smug face.

Everything above my neck burned with embarrassment and shame at being caught outright disrespecting my boss. "I-I didn't mean t-"

"Yes you did."

"W-whatever! Anyway, don't you have a speech to write up?!" Dear god, what I wouldn't do for more control over my emotions and actions. I really should have learned by now. "That one for your meeting next week?!"

Yeah. Control sounded nice.

VWV

About five hours into the Wednesday of my third week stuck with Yu Kanda found me leaning against the cafeteria counter, chatting to Jeryy. Apparently Kanda had hired him personally as this branch's head chef.

This was perhaps one of the few instances in my life where I was able to agree with one of that bastard's choices.

Jeryy had swinging purple braids, and was possibly trans. Or gay. I don't know, and I didn't really care. Jeryy was Jeryy, and aside from having a great personality, he was, above all else, a _god_.

I bought Mitarashi Dango from him at least once a week, careful to refrain from splurging too much. It was difficult when it came to Jeryy's creations though, because that man worked _magic_ in that kitchen, making him the complete opposite of me, who'd been banned from that section of the house after breaking the microwave again. Katerina wasn't pleased -which in no way had _anything_ to do with how I broke them almost as fast as Kanda went through his PA's-.

Jeryy set down a tray of ' _Kanda's usual_ ', which from the looks of it was just soba and green tea. He waved his soup spoon in the direction of the cafeteria door, infectious smile still in place. "Better get that to Kanda quick. And say hello to him for me, would you, Sweetie?"

I grimaced, lifting the tray and shifting it so I wouldn't drop anything. "Why would you want me to say _hi_ to that jerk?"

"Jerk?" Jeryy looked surprised. "Everyone always says that, but he's never been rude to me."

So even Yu Kanda knew not to mess with the cook? He was smarter than he looked.

VWV

I nudged open the door with my hip and slipped quietly into the room, carrying my boss' meal over to his desk.

Instead of taking this opportunity to mess with me some more, Kanda was actually working for once. We were readying ourselves for Spring, so there'd been an influx of new designs for Fashion Week and requests from companies eager to host _The Black_ _Order_ 's wears in their stores. Luckily for me, most of that stuff needed a Vice-Chairman-level signature or higher.

I set the tray down on the one section of his desk that remained free of papers -which he'd specifically left reserved for food-.

Kanda's dark blue eyes flicked up, and he stopped working, resting his pen by one of the smaller stacks of papers.

"Jeryy gives you his greetings," I said, stepping back and waiting to see if there was anything he wanted of me.

"Hn." He picked up his chopsticks, barely sparing me a glance. "You can leave."

"Yessir."

I left the room and shut the door behind myself, before sitting down at my desk and relaxing into the seat.

After resting for a minute, I took out my notebook from one of the desk drawers. It contained Kanda's roster details -among other things- and made it easier for me to organise his schedule.

I tapped my mouse and the computer screen lit up. Next, I navigated my way to my emails and gave the most recent work-related ones a once-over. There was nothing to be found that warranted any changes to the contents of my notebook.

Satisfied with my work -after checking over everything once more-, I sent Kanda an electronic copy of his schedule for the rest of this month.

There would be eventual changes to it later on, but for the foreseeable future, this was it.

I breathed out a deep sigh and stretched my arms above my head, listening to the sound of my joints pop.

Sometimes this job could be unnaturally easy.

My brain was halfway through chastising me about how such thoughts would only bring bad luck when, lo and behold, faint chatter met my ears.

I groaned and sagged in my seat.

 _Why? I just wanna relax…_

The voices gradually grew louder until I could make out the sounds of a conversation. Someone spoke in a whiney voice, and another laughed.

From what I could hear, there were more than two. Three, perhaps?

Four people entered the room. There was a red-head with an eye patch, a darker-skinned man whose eyes were closed, someone with strange clown-like makeup, and an older man with frizzy brown hair.

Two of the four looked incredibly suspicious.

I stood, hiding my thoughts behind a smile. It was best to be polite. I more than anyone knew not to judge others by their outward appearance. Besides, I didn't want to upset anyone important. "May I help you with something?"

The red-haired young man saw me and broke out in a grin. "So _you're_ Yu-chan's new PA." He was on me in an instant, taking my hand in his and shaking it enthusiastically. "I'm Lavi."

"Um… hi?" I said, unsure of what to do with this… very energetic person. "I'm Allen…"

"You're really tiny, you know that, right?" This Lavi fellow went on, finally releasing my hand.

I grit my teeth, forcing a smile through my irritation. It was something that hid my annoyance and relaxed the other party, therefore making the conversation flow much easier. I'd picked up the habit after I'd been freed. "This is the average height for males my a-"

"Quit deluding yourself, Moyashi," _his_ smooth voice interjected, a hint of amusement curling tauntingly around the words. Kanda was at the door that lead from my office to his, a smirk playing on his lips.

"I have a name," I told him politely, fingers twitching. I really wanted to hit him. _Just… one good punch…_

His smug silence bled into yet another awkward one which ended up being broken by the man with the pointed streaks down his face, who fake-coughed and shot me an odd look. "So… how'd a runt like you get stuck with this crappy job?"

 _...runt?_

Choosing not to mention… his poor choice of words, my eyes drifted back over to rest on Kanda. "I have terrible luck."

VWV

 _In case anyone is confused, this is Allen's third week with Kanda, but his second week as Kanda's actual PA._


	8. Descent

_Descent_

 _Yu Kanda_

The speech my PA had been hassling me about was due tomorrow and all I'd written for it was a few measly sentences on a company notepad.

Groaning, I rubbed my temples with the tips of my fingers. This was so damn annoying…

And then, as if by some cruel turn of fate, things got a whole lot worse; familiar voices drifted in through the open door to my office, causing a headache reared its ugly head.

 _They're back_.

I stood, reluctantly -and slowly- making my way to the door, wanting to prolong this reunion for as long as I possibly could.

Tiedoll, as annoying as it was, was still the owner of this company, so there were certain things I couldn't sign. Or at least, that was his official reason for visiting me so often. The reality of it was that he just ' _loved visiting his sons_ '.

I was lucky that he'd been away for the past month on one of Daisya's soccer trips, taking said soccer freak and that irritating Rabbit with him. The trip was now over, meaning I'd be seeing them all twice a week -at the very least-, which Tiedoll would use to then drag me off to one of our mandatory family dinners.

From the doorway, I spotted Lavi -who was in the middle of shaking a very confused-looking Moyashi's hand-, Tiedoll, Daisya, and Marie.

 _Marie_ I could handle.

He was calm and easy to be around, which was why most people got along with him so well.

Daisya was the joker, Tiedoll was compassionate and empathetic, and I… I was the ' _unfeeling ingrate with an ego that would put Caesar to shame_ ', in the words of one of my past PAs.

I couldn't remember which one she was. None of them really mattered to me anyway.

They were expendable.

I tuned into the conversation seconds before Lavi retracted his hand, listening and watching them all interact. They were all smiling, so everything seemed alright.

"You're really tiny, you know that, right?"

I felt myself smirk; my PA hated jabs at his -lack of- height.

"This is the average height for males my a-"

"Quit deluding yourself, Moyashi," I cut in, lips twitching when he turned to face me and the remnant of something vaguely menacing was crushed by a polite plastic smile.

"I have a name," he said, a muscle in his jaw doing a quick little spasm.

I leant smugly against the frame of the door, knowing with certainty that I'd won this encounter. The thick silence that settled over us reinforced my win.

Daisya coughed, drawing our attention by taking it upon himself to break the tension the Moyashi and I had generated. "So… how'd a runt like you get stuck with this crappy job?"

My PA looked back over at me, face blank. "I have terrible luck."

Now _that_ was the truth. His luck _had_ to be subpar to end up with _me_ as his immediate superior.

There was another long silence, which was ultimately ended by Lavi loudly clapping his hands together, startling everyone but me. "I'd love to stay here and keep this awkward atmosphere up and running, but how about me go in there," he said in his usual calculatingly-cheery manner, motioning over to the doorway I blocked. "Yeah?"

I stepped back inside to allow access and returned to my chair. When I sat down and noticed that the only one who hadn't followed me in was the Moyashi, my eyes nearly rolled into the back of my head. " _Moyashi…_ Get in here." I needed him to assist me with sorting what was for Tiedoll and what wasn't. Having him in here was also a good way to delay what I knew was coming. Tiedoll's 'talks' could sometimes go on for hours… "And bring a chair."

My PA was already at the doorway by the time he'd heard the last order. He stopped, turned on his heel, and disappeared. Barely a minute later, he returned with a chair from one of the meeting rooms on this floor, setting it down roughly two metres in front of my desk.

Finished with his task, he stood patently beside the chair with his hands behind his back.

"Thank you," Tiedoll said, crow's feet crinkling as he smiled, his hand seeking out my PA's shoulder for physical contact.

The Moyashi looked surprised, but in the end, he too smiled. "It's fine, really. Uhm… sorry… but I didn't catch your name…?"

Lavi let out a stupefied "Huh?"

Even I was surprised. I knew that my PA was airy and focussed on his work, but even he had to know of at least three of the people he'd just met.

"Is… something wrong?"

"Don't you watch TV?!" Lavi cried, voice laced through with shock and confusion and dejection and a whole lot more shit that I couldn't identify.

My PA's expression became a mix of nervousness and discomfort. "Not much of it," he admitted quietly, stepping back a bit, away from Tiedoll's outstretched hand, which hadn't moved since the beginning of this conversation.

Tiedoll lowered his hand.

Frowning at the way my PA was acting, I decided that it was best for me to continue watching for now. Sitting at my desk as I was, it was like I had front row seats to a show. A show that was like a soap opera, but with better acting.

It was Lavi who saw fit to enlighten the oblivious white-haired young idiot as to who exactly it was he was with.

"I'm going to go ahead and assume you don't know anyone, so… The big guy is Noise Marie, the one with the funny makeup is Daisya Barry." He paused to shoot Daisya -who was currently staring daggers at him- a lopsided grin. "And the guy with the fuzzy hair is Froi Teidoll, as in CEO-of-this-building Froi Tiedoll."

The colour drained from my PA's face, which then became mortified as he bent in low rigid bow. "I'm terribly sorry for n-not knowing who you were!"

I nearly choked on nothing, then had to clamp a hand over my mouth shut and breathe through my nose to keep myself from snickering.

Everyone else just stood there shocked, none of them used to his personality. Tiedoll then looked at me, so I dropped my hand and schooled my expression.

"I'll try to be more aware in the future! It's only my second official week, please forgive me!"

I clenched my jaw to keep myself from making a sound. I could not chuckle or snort or laugh, not with them watching. Later, I'd replay this scene in my mind and enjoy it to my heart's content, but for now, I had to control myself.

Lavi suddenly looked pretty guilty for having laid it on so thick. "Erm, it's not… your fault… I guess…"

Though hesitant, my PA straightened up out of his stiff bow, slowly raising his head.

It was then that Lavi hooked an arm around the brat's shoulder, and all I did was watch when my PA tensed up as he was dragged towards his office space. "You and I are gonna go talk," Lavi declared, grin back in place as he pulled the door shut behind the two of them.

This wasn't good. I had no real reason to call my PA back in, which mean I'd have to deal with Tiedoll…

VWV

Tiedoll was engaging in a completely one-sided conversation with me, chatting non-stop about recent events from the chair directly opposite my desk.

Eventually, our discussion morphed into one about why I wasn't allowed to fire Rouvelier, and then on into how my poor attitude was negatively effecting the people who worked under me. From that, it became a talk on my meeting -if you could even call it that- later on with Oceania branch.

And then it delved into our private lives.

I was Japanese, dammit! Private matters were supposed to stay private!

"Marie's already found someone," he said, gesturing to my eldest adopted sibling, who sat reclined on the leather futon to my right. "I doubt Daiysa will ever settle, but what about you?"

"Tch." I fucking _hated_ these conversations. "My private life is none of your business."

"Yes it is, Yu. You're my son."

There he went using the ' _you're my son_ ' thing again. While it was technically the truth, having him say it so many times only served to irritate me further. "Whatever."

"I wouldn't mind at least one grandchild from you," Tiedoll continued. "Adopted is fine. All I want is for you to find someone and be happy."

I knew that, but I cringed anyway. "I don't like kids." Children were noisy and bratty, and there was no way I wanted to waste eighteen long years of my life dealing with one.

Tiedoll jumped up, and his hands reached cross the desk, seizing mine in an iron hold. "That's only _now_. You'll get used to the idea once you find someone."

Oh shit.

Since he'd been away for so long, I'd forgotten the cardinal rule when it came to dealing with Tiedoll: Always outright reject his ideas, whatever they may be.

The end result of not doing so was that he'd then continue to pursue the idea until he fucking died.

Right now, he was beaming, so over the moon with delight and whatever else he was feeling that it made me want to hurl. He was getting all emotional too, and wouldn't let my hands go. If this continued, he'd start crying. Again.

That's when Lavi came back in laughing, a big grin curving up his lips. "Yu-chan, what'd you do to that poor kid? He hates your guts."

Tiedoll turned his head, relief filling me as the Usagi's unintentional distraction effectively managed to steer us safely away from the topic of the spawning and/or acquiring of tiny devils.

I extracted my hands from Tiedoll's, and it was only then that I realised what had been said. _The Moyashi hates me?_ "Good." _If he didn't, that would make him a masochist or something._ And I couldn't have him enjoying this. 

"Seriously, how is it that you managed to force someone into being your PA?" Lavi asked, wandering lazily over to Marie and perching himself on the edge of the futon.

Tiedoll's attention shifted to Lavi, his aging face drawn with worry. "That boy was forced?"

"He originally worked in Komui's division," I said, before Lavi could answer. It was best if I explained -even if it meant wasting my spit-, since I didn't know what the Moyashi had told Lavi. "And he only agreed to be my PA for the week it would take for me to find someone else. I told Komui that I wanted the kid as my PA. When he came in for work the next day, I had Komui pressure him into accepting." By taking advantage of his obvious lack of ability to say _no_.

"Yu," Tiedoll chided disapprovingly, ever the right-minded parent. "You can't do that."

"I don't see the problem." And I didn't, so long as you didn't count the personality clash. "The pay is better than what he was getting before. He should be thanking me."

"You…" Marie murmured, speaking for the first time since I'd seen him today. "You're doing this because you're having fun."

He may be blind, but my eldest adopted brother was intuitive as heck and could read people like they had invisible tapecorders following them around and revealing shit that only he could hear.

That was one of the few things I hated about him.

"It's satisfying to mess with him," I conceded, not quite agreeing, but not disagreeing either.

Tiedoll turned back to me, brow creased even further with bewilderment and concern. "Why is he even here? Shouldn't he be in school?"

"He's twenty-one," I deadpanned, though I _could_ understand the question. I too had been caught off guard by the knowledge of my PA's age. I didn't know if I could say that puberty had been kind to him, not if he looked like a baby-faced teen for the next ten or twenty years of his unfortunate life.

Marie was the only one not stunned into silence, though it was probably only because he hadn't seen the kid's face.

VWV

My PA gathered together the papers I'd already through, scanning and checking them over before handing Tiedoll those that were appropriate. He was professional as usual, focussed wholly on the task at hand. With my family -and the Usagi- here, we couldn't exactly banter like usual. Then again, we'd been too busy to do that lately.

The Moyashi had been brought in just as the Spring preparations had begun, so we hadn't the time to be messing about when there was a ton of work to be done. I knew that he sometimes ended up taking documents home with him to complete, and I wasn't able to complain since they were always handed in to me on time.

 _Speaking of time…_

A glance at the clock told me that it was nearly time for me to begin preparing for our meeting -which was actually dinner at some classy restaurant Lavi had chosen-. My shoulders slumped a fraction, the weight known as _duty_ pushing them down. Today I'd done nothing but read and scrawl my signature on hundreds of papers, right now I had this dinner, and then tomorrow was the Crow meeting. I was barely able to catch a break before my duties at Vice-Chairman caught up to me and thrust more work and responsibilities in my face.

I needed a way to relieve all the stress that was building up before I snapped and killed someone. Not a vacation… Those were boring. _I could always mess with the Moyashi._ That was entertaining.

 _Certainly more entertaining than these damn meetings…_

My hands stilled.

" _Fuck_ ," I breathed, palm meeting my forehead. Tiedoll's arrival had distracted me from what I'd been doing earlier.

"Language!" Tiedoll snapped tersely. My PA looked like he wanted to join in the admonishment of my word choice.

I ignored them. "I'm supposed to have dinner with the heads of Oceania branch later, but tomorrow morning there's that meeting with the leading distributors of _Crow_ enterprises… shit."

"Language!" Tiedoll repeated, sterner this time. He'd never been one for swearing. Or accepting it, for that matter.

"What's wrong with that?" Lavi asked from the futon, which he lay draped across like a discarded coat. Marie had moved his feet to allow the red-head to sit down, and Lavi had taken over half the futon as his own as a result.

"I haven't made the speech."

"Y-you haven't done it yet?" Allen spluttered, eyes wide behind his wire-framed glasses. "Didn't you say that you were nearly finished?"

I realised that _yes_ , I had indeed said something along those lines to him. He really wasn't going to like this. "I lied so you'd shut up about it."

He made an disbelieving face while placing a hand on my desk, fingers gripping the edge. "Well aren't _you_ a stupid one."

"I'm not stupid! Maybe if you hadn't bugging me about it, I might've done it!" And if Tiedoll hadn't appeared unscheduled again. And there hadn't been so much to do. And if I hadn't put this off for so long. And… and… and…

"Well you don't have time to write it now unless you pull an all-nighter. Unfortunately, the Oceania branch dinner will cut into your time." My PA calmly took the papers that sat in front of me, tucking them in his arms. "I'll sort these. You write what you can before the dinner."

This was too much to deal with in such a short amount of time. I wouldn't be able to go it without out a speech, but… there was no _time_. "You write the damn speech!" I snapped, dragging a hand through my ponytail to free it from knots that wouldn't be there. The last instance of me letting a PA write my speech involved him fucking it up splendidly. Still, making shit up as I went along would lead me into a swearing tangent.

Allen Walker's smile would have been a sweet one, had his eyes not told me just how much he wanted me dead. "Is that an order, _sir_?"

VWV

 _I was gonna write something about "invisible billboards above their heads that only he could see" to describe Marie's intuition but then I remembered that he was blind and that kind of imagery didn't work properly (Just in case you didn't understand the "tapecorders" thing)._


	9. Overtime & Overkill

_Overtime & Overkill_

 _Allen Walker_

Lavi slung an arm over my shoulder and lead me out of the room, and my body automatically stiffened, shrinking in on itself to minimalize the physical contact between the two of us. My heart clenched and unclenched inside my chest as I tried desperately to conceal and hold back my panic. He was very close. Too close.

He then withdrew his arm, looking at me questioningly with one intelligent green eye. "Are you alright?"

I bit back on a horrified reaction as alarm bells sounded in my head, warning me of the dangers of interacting too long with this one.

 _He noticed._

"I'm fine," I lied, repeating something I'd said so many times now that I probably didn't even know the correct use of the phrase anymore. "You just startled me is all."

His mouth settled into a disbelieving thin line , but he didn't probe any further, instead leaning himself against the edge of my desk. "I have some questions for you," he eventually said, staring at me in a way that made me feel mildly uncomfortable.

I sat down on my chair, wiggling the computer mouse to wake the monitor. "Go ahead and ask away." I clicked to opened up my emails, using this as a silent excuse to excuse me from looking directly at him, even though I'd checked my emails barely a minute prior to his arrival. It was easy enough for me to do this and converse with him at the same time; multitasking was a parent's specialty.

"First off, if you're wondering who I am, I'm Tiedoll's PA," Lavi revealed as he peered nosily at my computer screen. "My gramps used to have this job, but he's gettin' old."

Now it made sense. I'd wondered why Lavi had come in with the head of the company and the man's two eldest sons.

"Anyway, I just wanted to ask you if anything happened to Yu-chan about three weeks ago."

It took me a little longer than it should have for me to realise that ' _Yu-chan_ ' was my boss. In my defence, I'd never really heard someone speak only his first name before.

"On the Friday," he elaborated, taking in my raised brows. "Yu was kinda smiling and it was really creepy. I thought he'd killed…" Lavi paused as my expression darkened and my fingers froze above the keyboard. "Are you alright?"

It was at times like these that I remembered exactly why I hated my boss.

Lavi, as kind as he was, had just accidentally forced me to remember the day I'd come to work glad to be on my last day with Kanda, only to find out that I was stuck with him 'til I quit, which wasn't happening anytime soon.

It'd been both an extremely disappointing and terrifying day, one in which I'd learned the hard way that I could only do as I was told and let the people around me decide how best to lay out the twists and turns of my career.

"So I'm gonna go out on a whim and say that you know exactly what's up, yeah?" Lavi queried, playful voice drawing me back to the present, the beginnings of a sly grin on his lips.

"That," I began through gritted teeth, trying to relax my hands so I wouldn't destroy my keyboard, "was the day he forced me into becoming his permanent PA."

Lavi didn't even bother hiding his grin this time, interestedly leaning in, prompting me to continue. "How'd he force you into the job? Didn't you apply?"

I grimaced automatically, the thought of actually _applying_ for this position so ludicrous to me that I found it difficult to even try hiding my feelings on the matter. "You think I _want_ to be his PA? That man is little better than the devil." Kanda was mean and rude and used the whole ' _Vice-Chairman_ ' thing to bully people. I couldn't understand why anyone would want a job that put them within a twenty-foot radius of him. "That bastard is a complete an' total jackarse! I ain' quitin', but I do wanna go back to me ol' position. He won' le' me."

Lavi laughed once, tried to stop himself from losing it, and then erupted into giggles. "W-what's up with th-that accent?!" He snickered, his face slowly turning red as blood rushed to his cheeks. "And are you sure that you should be speaking like that where he can hear?"

"He already knows that I hate him," I said, layering my tone with disdain while I reigned in my troublesome accent.

VWV

Another of our arguments had somehow lead to me writing my annoying boss' speech, one I'd been pestering him about for the past week now. He'd put it off this entire time, messing with me instead of working like he was supposed to.

I had half a mind to hand him gibberish as punishment for ducking his responsibilities and shoving them all off onto me, but I knew I wouldn't. My pride wouldn't allow me to hand him garbage.

It was with great reluctance that I pulled out my phone and pressed the _Messages_ icon, before sending a text to one of the few people in my very short _Contacts_ list.

! ! !

 **Lenalee**

 **Today** 4:07 pm

[ Lena… ]

i i i

I waited, staring at the little screen in my hands with equal parts patience and trepidation.

This was wrong of me.

! ! !

 **Lenalee** just now

[ What'd you do? ]

slide to reply

i i i

Her text made me feel offended, yet also even more guilty for what I was about to ask of her. She would be fine with the request, I knew, but it was impossible for me to completely control my emotions. Better people than me had tried and failed.

! ! !

 **Lenalee**

 **Today** 4:13 pm

[ Thanks for the vote of confidante ]

[ I have to write this speech for Satan… It might take a while ]

i i i

While I waited for her response, I nervously chewed my lip, knowing it wasn't right to ask this of her. This was my responsibility. I should have been handling it all on my own.

Spellcheck was also being a twat.

I quickly shook my head to clear it from the negative thoughts that had decided to take up residency there, trying to cover them up with more positive ones that I knew Lenalee would be more approving of.

She would _definitely_ like this. Lenalee enjoyed spending time with the kids just as much as we all loved spending time with her.

And also, she would know what I'd meant, spellcheck error or no.

! ! !

 **Lenalee** just now

[ I'm out already, so I'll go by the school now ]

slide to reply

i i i

I breathed out a relieved sigh, smiling despite myself.

Lenalee Lee really was a blessing.

I was happy that she was in our lives. I was happy that she'd been the one to reach out to me all those years ago.

! ! !

 **Lenalee**

 **Today** 4:25 pm

[ Thanks ]

[ I owe you one ]

i i i

I was happy that she was the first human being outside of my family to have taught me these emotions.

! ! !

 **Lenalee** just now

[ No prob ]

[ You can make it up to me by helping me find a new skirt ]

slide to reply

i i i

Thankfulness aside…

I grimaced as I sent through a text of affirmation. I hated shopping. It involved hours of walking and navigating my way through stores and aisle upon aisle of clothing. My feet hurt afterwards and my head always felt like jelly.

The only time shopping was fun was when Katie, Neah or Mana needed clothes.

Smiling softly at the warm memories that particular thought brought to mind, I placed my phone down and set to work.

Kanda had given me a notepad with a couple notes he'd jotted down. From what I could see, he'd already started. There was a basic outline of an introductory paragraph.

That was it.

I had absolutely no idea as to which direction he wanted this speech to go in, nor did I know which point he'd planned to focus on.

Kanda was an unfair, temperamental _ass_.

Stifling a groan, I ran my eyes over the bulleted list he'd given me and wondered if he'd made a digital presentation to go along with this stupid speech. Did this thing even require one?

"Yu-chan would do the speech if he could," Lavi said, and if I hadn't stopped myself, I would have leapt up out of the seat and yelped or shrieked like a banshee.

Thankfully I didn't though, because I had the sneaking suspicion that Lavi was the kind of person who'd hold that against me until the day one of us died.

Lavi had reclaimed the same spot as before, though this time crouched down to let his folded arms rest atop a small portion of the right side of my desk. "He just ran out of time. As the Vice-Chairman, he has to go to these meetings. It's his responsibility."

"What's it on?" I asked, swallowing my fear. My throat and lips were dry, and my heart still beat faster than what was healthy. Things had been so much better for me back when I was down with Komui. I hadn't had to worry this much.

Lavi plopped his chin on his arms, his easy grin almost as fake as my smile. It was so close to real, the grin nearly perfect in every way. The problem was his eye, which wasn't really in it because it was too busy analysing me. Because that _look_ was _back_. "Regional designs and branch expansion." He knew something was wrong with me.

Even though it was like this, even though he was trying to dissect my body language and tone and every word I spoke and whatever else those ears and that eye of his was searching for, I calmed myself with the knowledge that Lavi meant me no harm. He was simply the smart, overly friendly type. That was why, for the sake of at least attempting to keep up appearances, I asked, "Shouldn't speeches be on the PA's list of duties?"

It was a legitimate question. I'd been extremely surprised when I'd first broached the idea of writing this speech to Kanda and he'd shot me down, telling me to leave those matters to him.

Okay, so he hadn't exactly used those words. There'd been a tad more… vulgarities included.

"Yu-chan used to let his PA's write his speeches until one them made a massive mistake and… yeah. Then he stopped letting them even go to meetings once his seventh tried to pour him a drink and spilt it all over him."

I winced, easily able to imagine what would have followed such an incident. "I feel really sorry for that person."

Lavi looked like he'd swallowed something unimaginably sour, though I could tell that he was still closely monitoring me. He hadn't been appointed Froi Tiedoll's PA for nothing. "It was horrible. People floors below could hear the yelling…" Suddenly, as though someone had flipped a switch, he was all grins again. "Still, he must like you."

I snorted, then quickly covered my mouth. "Sorry." That had been rude of me. "I think you're wrong. He hates me as much as I hate him."

"He might dislike you, but Yu-chan wouldn't be letting you do this if he didn't think you were at least a little bit capable." He moved in closer, pushing himself up a bit so that his face inches from my own, and I fought my body's reflexive urge to flinch away. "Between you and me," Lavi whispered, "Yu-chan probably expects a lot from you. If he didn't, he would have just told me to write the speech."

That… actually made a lot of sense. Lavi was the PA of the Chairman, so he would naturally be better suited to this. He should have been Kanda's first choice, not me.

Did that mean… Kanda thought I was proficient enough for the job? He didn't keep me on as he PA just so he would have someone to terrorise?

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

Almost as if having been summoned by our mentioning of him, Kanda emerged from his office, wearing a dark Brioni suit and leather shoes. His cuffs were open, revealing the intricate Vacheron Constantin watch on his left wrist, replacing his usual bracelet of prayer beads.

He looked rich and professional.

 _What a waste of money._

I knew that _The_ _Black Order_ didn't really do suits, but why wasn't he wearing the company's designs? One of the designers would've been happy to make something up for the esteemed Vice-Chairman. Heck, they would've been proud. Some may have even shed a tear.

Even though it was what I thought, I didn't dare speak a word of it aloud. It wasn't my place to say anything. Besides, if he wanted to flaunt his wealth, that had nothing to do with me.

Right now, I had to work on this damn speech. "I really do hate you."

Lavi looked surprised and a little offended, but Kanda smirked, and I sighed frustratedly.

I pushed some hair out of my face, hand remaining there to keep my fringe from falling back into my eyes as I glared from my boss, to the notepad and back again. "Is there anything you want me to focus on in the speech?"

"Figure it out for yourself."

I wasn't usually a violent person, but Kanda was practically begging for a beating. His perfect nose, especially, looked like a good place to start. "Will a virtual presentation be necessary?"

"Yes."

 _Great._ "Any specific colour scheme?" Though I hated him, I needed _something_. I couldn't go into this completely blind.

"Blue. Dark."

 _Of course._ "Font?"

"Do whatever."

I hoped to all things holy that he'd spare me and give me a direction to go in. "Do you have any other requirements concerning appearance or written content?" _I hate you, but please tell me what you want from me._

"No."

My heart sank in my chest. "Anything you want to say before you leave?" I muttered glumly, shoulders sinking slightly, my eyes now fixed to the notepad.

"Screw this up and I'll fire you."

From deep within my feelings of displeasure and weariness sparked a tiny flame of hope that seemed to feed on his words and grow, if only a little. "If you fired me, could I go back down to Komui?"

There was a hellfire burning in Kanda's dark eyes that just _dared_ me to repeat the question, and I actually flinched away this time. His mouth twisted to match the stare, his death glare fierce and petrifying. This was the first time I'd seen him this angry, and it made me sick to my stomach.

I shrank back in my seat, my hair on end and my toes curling.

Quelling a shiver, I looked away to prevent myself from having another breakdown then and there.

Kanda had done more than pour a bottle of water on my hope. He'd dumped a bucketful of sand on it and ground the remains of both into a fine dust.

"I guess not…" I mumbled, quietly this time to avoid making him any madder.

Kanda was a scary guy.

I missed Komui's floor. The people there were all those I knew and felt comfortable around. Also, Komui knew my limitations. He knew what was wrong with me, and I trusted him almost as much as I trusted his sister.

I didn't like it here.

VWV

I'd stopped by the house early in the morning to have a quick shower and find something to munch on before heading back to work.

By three-twenty-seven, I'd finished the speeches. By four-fifteen, I'd finished the accompanying virtual presentations for each of them.

I shook my head to clear it of sleep, then yawned as I clicked to send the three different speeches I'd written to the printer on this floor, which was situated in another of the rooms off the main hallway. While most of the rooms were for conferences, this one was filled with boxes of blank paper and this floor's photocopiers, fax machines and printers.

After collecting the copies from the printer, I stapled the three different speeches and put them in a pile on Kanda's desk, where he'd easily be able to find them later. It helped that his desk was a little cleaner than the last time I'd seen it.

His desk was usually the only messy thing in the office since the begging of the FW influx. At least, that's what my occasional cursory glances of the room told me.

I looked around, and although it was dark, the faint sliver of moonlight peeking through a gap in the curtains offered enough light for me to be able to see.

It was then, as I assessed the room's interior, that I found one small problem I hadn't noticed before.

His 'little' collection of folders and papers didn't fit properly within the cabinet. Things were piled on top, sloping dangerously and threatening to topple off; the cabinet was close enough to Kanda's desk that the whole lot would hit him if that happened.

As entertaining as that would be, I wouldn't allow for him to get hurt like that while I was his PA.

I switched the light on and removed a couple folders, checking them over to figure out how they'd been organised and if there was somewhere else I could put them, only to find that they weren't stored in any form of order whatsoever.

An hour later, I was on the floor of my boss' office with piles of folders around me as I scanned through their contents and marked the little flap at the top with letters and dates.

Sometime after that, I'd deduced that, even with all of my rearranging, not all of the folders would fit.

I'd have to request another cabinet.

VWV

 _Allen's working on pure sleep-deprived motivation right now. I do it all the time and man, getting distracted and devoting himself to something completely different is real easy to do in this state._

 _Anyway, I have a poll going that basically asks you guys which fic I should start after I finish one of the five I'm working on. There are titbits of info on my profile about the fics._


	10. View

_View_

 _Yu Kanda_

There was an unfamiliar Renault Clio in the parking lot, which I found strange. Even though I was a half-hour later than usual, there were normally no other cars here at this hour other than security. They parked elsewhere though, so it wasn't theirs.

I pulled my car up beside the grey one and cut the ignition, absentmindedly staring at the other vehicle.

It was an older model, a Gen III hatchback model in fact, and it appeared to be in good condition.

I climbed out of my car and slammed the door shut behind me, still staring at the car. Through the windows, I could see that the interior was clean, with only a black backpack resting on the back seats.

 _Weird._

I threw one last glance at the other car before deciding to get a move on, taking the elevator straight up to my floor.

Curiously enough, the Moyashi was already here, typing on his computer as he usual.

"Your speech has been made. Since you had no real specifications, I made multiple. The meeting is in three hours, so please look over the speeches and decide which it is you prefer," he said, voice monotone and bland. "There are also three corresponding digital representations. Please take a look at those too. If there's anything unsatisfactory with my work, I'll be sure to perform any changes you wish."

Fuck. He made my ears want to bleed from how boring and robotic he sounded.

He was wearing different clothes -he always wore basically the same thing, but there were always slight differences in the material and colour-, which mean that he _had_ left at some point. The kid looked tired though, unattractive shadows beneath his eyes.

"How long have you been here?" I asked, suspicious.

He glanced up at me momentarily, before looking back down again, dazed eyes rapidly blinking away sleep as he stared at the monitor. His glasses slipped down his face, but he seemed too out of it to push them back up. "An hour or two, maybe."

 _Liar._ "When did you get in?" There was no way that my stupid PA would be like this after being here for only an hour.

"Two-ish," he said, and placed a hand over his mouth to muffle a yawn.

"That was about four hours ago," I deadpanned as his hand relocated to his computer mouse and smiled tiredly at me. Annoyed by that smile, I looked away and moved to stand behind him, taking the opportunity to check his computer screen and find out what he was up to _now_.

Familiar dates, times and notes glared back at me, and I recognised my schedule.

 _Christ. The brat's still working?_

The boy swivelled his chair so that he could face me again. "Oh." He didn't sound like he cared.

My suspicion rose as I dragged my eyes over his form. There was something _wrong_ with him. "What time did you leave?"

He froze, smile falling, and then a look of increasing discomfort began to grown the longer I stared. "That doesn't really matter."

I growled from the back of my throat, not satisfied even when he flinched. Crossing my arms and releasing an irritated breath, I took a closer look at my PA.

His clothes.

In the short amount of time I'd known him, I'd found that Allen Walker's clothes were always neat. There were never any stains, barely any wrinkles, and never any real imperfections.

That was not the case right now.

His appearance was bedraggled, at best. His white shirt was unironed and off by a button, and the cuffs were not done up. I thought I saw a glimpse of black peeking out from between the open cuff and his gloves, but he tucked his hands in his lap before I could be sure.

"What. Time. Did. You. Leave?"

My PA shifted shyly under my gaze, before swivelling his chair back to face the bright computer screen as he quietly admitted, "One o'clock."

I wanted to slam the kid's head against that damn computer and beat some fucking sense into him. Did he not fucking realise that he was useless to me like this? That I couldn't use him if he was dead on his feet?

The brat could be reasonably smart at times, but then there were moments when he could be more of an idiot than those fucktards in the rest of society. Like now. "Did you get _any_ sleep?"

He shook his head and blinked some more. "I had a shower and ate."

This kid was such a pain to deal with. Work-wise, he didn't suck. Also, messing with him and teasing his shorter stature was always entertaining. The problem was that he possessed traits that I despised.

I'd always hated people that couldn't properly care for themselves. They were like big babies, adults but still so damn reliant on others for everything. This idiot here thought that going without sleep would be fine and that that showering and eating was all he needed to keep himself healthy. Hadn't he ever wondered why he was such a thin midget? If he wasn't treating his body right, there was no way he'd grow.

I also hated the way he deceived others with false happiness. That was why I found it so enjoyable to have him snap and cuss at me in British.

Furthermore, what pissed me off the most was how nice he was to everyone. He was all polite words and warm smiles, the kind of person that was like a dim little light that would eventually burn out because it tried too hard.

It wasn't only those three things though.

He let me stomp all over him and didn't put up a fight when I forced him into becoming my PA. He didn't know how to say _no_. He took some of the stuff I said _too damn literally_. He got stupider when touched, stiffening and stuttering or falling silent like a moron.

It was just so fucking frustrating.

I left the room, moving to my office to check on the speeches and see what needed editing. Since this was his first time creating one of my presentations, I wasn't expecting a lot.

The Moyashi soon trotted quietly in behind me, remaining by the chair opposite to my desk.

"Take a nap," I told him as I sat and searched for the papers, briefly throwing my hand in the direction of the futon. I peeled a sticky note from the small pile of speeches he'd made and put it to the side. The speeches all seemed to be a few pages long, though varied to a some extent in length. I skimmed over the one on top, flipping through the flimsy pages. The basics weren't bad; I'd have to have a more in-depth look to be sure that it was alright to use.

That was weird. I'd thought it'd be crappier than this.

Then again, he _had_ worked with Komui. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if that slacker pushed the responsibility of his own branch meetings and staff speeches off onto someone else. I'd be even less surprised if that person was my meek little PA.

"Sir?" He inquired, still standing where I'd last seen him over ten minutes ago.

I lowered the paper, exasperated and more than a little tired myself because of the late night I'd had. "What?" My tone was surlier I'd meant it to be, but that was fine. I was not in the mood for this today.

"I have work to do."

It was too early for his stubborn shit. "You're an insufferable brat," I said, taking an old marked folder full of -blank- paper from my bottom left desk drawer. "Take this down to File Storage."

He instantly paled, staring at me with an incredulous look in his sleepy grey eyes. "But you know what ha-"

"You wanted to work, didn't you?" I snapped, already knowing his response. He was a predictable brat, always wanting to work and prove himself useful. This would teach him to not be so eager to please.

The Moyashi nodded quickly, if a little stupidly because of the lack of sleep, before coming closer and taking the item. He mournfully looked down at his ticket to Hell, but didn't say a word of protest. "Then… I'll see you later, sir."

From the back, I noticed that his dress shirt was only half tucked in to his pants, and he wasn't wearing a belt.

VWV

I slumped down in my seat and loosened my tie, watching as Tiedoll, Marie, Daisya and Lavi filed in after me.

Tiedoll sat at his usual seat while Marie and Daisya took the futon to my far right.

Unlike the rest of the group, Lavi decided be an ass and get close, his hands on my desk as he peered down at me from over my computer. "You sounded alright," he said, his grin turning sly. "I take it Al did an alright job, yeah?"

"Tch." The Moyashi's speeches had been alright. That is, they hadn't _sucked_. I, obviously, had chosen the one I thought best suited Crow and edited it as I saw fit.

Actually… speaking of my PA… It'd been nearly four hours since I'd sent him down to File Storage. Now that the meeting was over, I'd have to go find him.

"Yu-chan?"

I hissed at the sound of that nickname, just about ready to stab him with a pen if he said it again.

Lavi raised his hands in amused surrender. "Someone's in a bad mood."

I absently flipped him off and pretended not to hear Tiedoll's alarmed " _Yu_!" as I tried to organise what was on my desk. That was when I saw the yellow sticky note I'd found earlier. I checked it to see if there was anything important on it, only to find that that the contents were written in the messiest fucking chicken-scratch I'd seen since I was in elementary school.

 _[I noticed that it wouldn't all fit in the cabinet, so I suggest getting a new one. Also, nothing was in order, so I took the liberty of alphabetising your folders by year. You should be able to figure out where everything is.]_

I scanned the area behind me where the only cabinet in the room stood. It was way tidier than I remembered seeing it in a long time, and that was even with the piles by its base.

 _Huh._

The Moyashi had done this _and_ made multiple speeches? The fuck?

"Damn overachiever…"

"Who is?" Lavi asked, suddenly right by my right elbow. He looked at the note in my hand and laughed. "Man, whose writing it this? It sucks."

I contemplated elbowing him in the eye, but Tiedoll was watching. He also had a this latest incident, a new problem had been brought to my attention: my PA's handwriting was shit.

A vein in my forehead throbbed. I fucking _hated_ bad handwriting. I hated seeing it, I hated reading it, and I hated people who wrote with it.

I set the sticky note down before eventually tapping the desk repeatedly with my forefinger, thinking about what would come next. It would make sense to ensure that he just didn't write by hand any time in the immediate future and stuck to typing. If he did that, however, he would never improve.

Did I have him go buy a preschool book that taught kids how to write? Would that even fix this?

I breathed out and stilled my finger. This was stupid. I had better things to do than worry about this.

"Yu," Tiedoll said from his chair, looking musingly across at me. "What are you doing?"

Clicking my tongue, I took the two sheets of paper from today's meeting that required a Chairman-level signature and stood, dumping them in Tiedoll's lap on the way past.

"Wait! Yu! Where are you going?"

This time, I smirked. "To rescue the baka Moyashi."

VWV

I found my PA asleep in File Storage, his face slack and his body slumped against the wall, some stray white strands stuck to the corner of his mouth. There were no fake smiles or glares. He looked utterly defenceless.

He looked _better_.

Awake, he looked overworked and stressed, like there was always some weight on his shoulders. He was doing better than the others had at this point in the season, at least. Most would have already cracked under the pressure and handed in their resignation letters or requested assistance from other sections.

My PA's chest rose and fell with each breath, each movement minute.

I crouched down and reached for his face, but froze as he made a small noise. I paused for a beat, and when he didn't wake up, I pulled the strands of hair from his mouth.

With how nearly everything about this kid was so colourless, that ugly red scar really stood out, from the crude star on top to the curved line that ended by his lip and framed his pale cheek. If anything, the scar looked more like it was there as a mark of possession.

My hand still felt weird remembering the incident from two days ago. That was when I'd realised that the thing wasn't a tattoo like I'd originally thought.

Tattoos didn't leave a jagged depression in the skin.

For it to have healed so well, he must have received it years ago. It would have hurt like hell.

I poked his left cheek, barely touching the edge of the scar.

"You're such a pain."


	11. Square One

_Square One_

 _Allen Walker_

I'd been waiting around to be found when things first started going fuzzy. After pulling my all-nighter I was already incredibly tired, and my head was beginning to feel warm.

That wasn't good.

I couldn't fall asleep. I was supposed to file the folder and then return. That was what I'd been _told to do_ , so I _had_ to do it. If I wasn't _perfect_ , I ran the risk of losing my job, and I couldn't afford that. I needed the cash. Supporting three children and myself was impossible without a well-paying job like this one.

Unfortunately, try as I might, sitting in a cooled corridor curled in on myself with nothing to do but think the time away all but forced me to drift off to sleep.

VWV

My dream was one that I couldn't for the life of me remember, which was nice, considering I was usually subjected to detestable nightmares that woke me from my slumber and left me with a racing heart and a body slick with sweat. Those nightmares did strange things to my head, warping the way I perceived the world while I was still under their spell: my clothes were horrid, the fabric rough and itchy against my skin; my sheets became confines, trapping me as I tried in desperation to wrestle free; my room was dark and frightening, a prison that I could only escape by navigating my way around sinister furniture that stuck out and caused bruises or falls in my jittery haste.

This time was different though.

When I came to, many voices spoke in hushed tones around me and there was a pain in my gut that suggested I was over someone's shoulder.

I took in a slow breath, forcing myself to remain calm and pretend as if I had not awoken while I quietly assessed the situation; feigning unconsciousness was a good was to gather information and keep others from thinking of me as a threat – it also often lead people letting their guards down prematurely.

"Yu-kun, that's not how you treat the people who work for you."

My brow twitched as I held back a frown. _Is that… Mr. Tiedoll?_

"The heck happened to his clothes?" Another familiar voice asked.

 _Lavi?_

The person holding me shifted, the arm across the backs of my thighs that kept me in place squeezing my legs tighter. "Che."

It was only one word -if you could even call it that-, but I recognised it immediately.

I opened my eyes and was greeted with the dark suit-jacket back of the bastard who'd sent me downstairs knowing _full well_ I wouldn't be able to return on my own– with the back of the asshole who had the _nerve_ to treat me like a sack of potatoes after all he'd done. Out of spite, I angrily tugged on the long ponytail that dangled down beside my face, a mixture of satisfaction and subdued fear filling me when he cursed.

That feeling was lost when my legs were abruptly released and the floor rushed to meet my face. I cried out as I met the hard ground, wincing and grimacing because _ouch_ , that would _definitely_ leave a mark.

"Did you just _pull my hair_?" Kanda hissed, hands flying up to fix what I'd ruined. Longs fingers gently dragged their way through his ponytail and smoothed down anything that wasn't in its proper place.

Refraining from snorting, I carefully picked myself up from the floor and gave myself a onceover, and after realising the horrendous state of my attire, I said, "I did."

"Why the _fuck_ did you do that?"

"Why did you send me down to File Storage, BaKanda?" I fired back with an equal amount of venom. He _knew_ what happened last time, so why had he been such an ass and done that to me anyway? Was sending my off to waste time and then search for me again somehow _fun_? Did he enjoy making my little life even more miserable and then coming down to play the hero who rescued me?

Kanda huffed and finally stopped fiddling with his freakin' perfect hair. "Why're you such a brat?"

"Why're you such an arrogant knobhead?" I gritted out, letting my bitterness seep out to coat my words.

"Speak English, idiot!"

Terror swept through me as his voice rose in octaves. He was being too loud. "I am speakin' English, you uneducated twat." Arguing and standing close to him like this made me realise just how tall he really was; I'd never really noticed that my boss towered about a head over me because every other time we'd talked or argued involved either him sitting at his desk or me constantly bowing and keeping my head down.

"No, you're not!"

"S'the Queen's English," I said evenly, quelling a shiver. _Too loud_. "Jus' because ya can' un'erstan' doesn' give ya the right ta say it ain' English."

He scoffed, gesturing at me with a wave of his hand as if my own words had just proved his point. "It's stupid and no one understands what you're saying!"

"Shut yer mouth!" I winced at the volume of my own voice and tried to ignore the way my throat suddenly tightened. There was a throbbing in my head that suggested all this noise was bringing on a migraine. "Lena would."

Tiedoll apparently took it upon himself to step in. "Yu…" A brief glance at his face told me that the man was currently deliberating on how best to placate us. "Maybe you sh-"

"How about you shut yours‽" Kanda snapped, drowning out whatever his father had been about to say. "Also, don't bring that woman into this!"

"How 'bout ya let me go back down ta workin' with Komui so everthin' can go return ta how it _should be_ and then we can finally stop gettin' at each otha's throats‽" I retorted, and then as an afterthought considered what he'd tacked on at the end. "Don' call 'er _tha' woman_!" Lenalee had always there for me since we'd met and had become my closest friend and sister, so there was no way I'd allow this dick to refer to her in that way, especially around me.

Kanda didn't respond, frowning irately as if something I'd said had displeased him. "Just go home. You're more useless than usual right now."

I exasperatedly sighed, honest to God amazed that I was still employed here. To calm myself, I took a deep breath and massaged my right temple with two gloved fingers. "Kanda… I didn't even file what you wanted me to."

Kanda stared at me for one very quiet and _very awkward_ moment before opening the manila folder he held, revealing the blank papers within.

My eyebrow twitched, and I really felt like falling to my knees and crying in frustration. I didn't though, because that would have meant he'd won. Instead, I decided to take him up on his offer and leave, but not before I yelled, "Go ta hell, ya bloody wanker," and slammed his office door behind me, my heart beating painfully loud inside my aching chest.

I took the elevator straight down to the car park floor and only stopped once I saw the snazzy Maserati GranTurismo beside my own older vehicle. It was black, shiny, and easily outshone mine in terms of appearance.

My eyes developed a strong urge to roll. I glanced inside and… _Yep. Black leather seats._

"So dumb," I mumbled, climbing into my car when my lower lip began to quiver and my eyes filled with tears.

Angrily -and also partially because I was sleep deprived and irritated with my boss and annoyed with that _stupid_ speech and even angrier with myself for crying so damn _easily_ -, I hit the steering wheel, causing two things to happen: first, pain shot through my hand because _of course_ I just _had_ to hit a particularly hard part of the wheel, and second, the horn beeped and scared the living daylights out of me, the loud sound sending a wave of panic through my ravaged nervous system.

Clamping my mouth shut to keep myself quiet, I cradled my injured hand to my chest and tucked my knees close, bringing my other arm up to hug my legs as I sat curled up in the front seat of my car wishing that my day had somehow gone differently.

VWV

 _I KNOW THIS CHAPTER IS SHORT. I APOLOGISE._

 _This chapter was a little boring to write. The next one is better though!_

 _So~ Is~ The~ One~ After~_


	12. Tentative Truce

_Tentative Truce_

 _Yu Kanda_

Lavi stood frozen by the door like the idiot he was while Tiedoll looked at me like he was silently requested answers to what he had just witnessed.

"Che." Without bothering to supply the man with a response, I moved and sat down at my office desk, secretly pleased with myself for having managed to get the Moyashi to snap. It had taken me long enough; he possessed more persistence and patience than I gave him credit for – it was a good call on my part to have him do the speech. That had lead him to fall prey to sleep deprivation, which had in turn weakened his resolve.

Why though, had the brat gone and ruined it?

He still wanted to leave? _Why?_ This was a good paying job, way better than what he was getting before, for sure. Did he not think it was enough? Did he want a raise? The kid was a hard worker, so I was willing to give him one. Good help was even harder to find than it should have been; people were getting stupider with each passing generation.

The speeches he'd written weren't half bad – he was skilled enough to deserve the honour of working with me. I could always modify his office if that's what he wanted. Did he want a new desk or something? New décor, maybe?

This shit was difficult to know when the kid wasn't the type to outright state the problem. Then again, he _had_ snapped that first Thursday. The Sprout had made it clear back then how he felt; did that make _me_ the problem?

Most left when they reached that point, but he'd stayed despite that.

I wouldn't change the I treated him. Watching my actions and behaving defeated half the purpose of having him as my PA.

Then was bribery the only answer?

"So are we getting an explanation… or…?" Lavi waved a hand at the door, invasively inquisitive as ever.

"I'd say we deserve one," Daisya chimed in, reclaiming his place by Marie on my futon. "You specifically made him your PA, so what's with all the arguing?"

I shot the irritating duo equally dirty looks for their pestering, but eventually bit out, "The little idiot didn't get any sleep last night."

"That's because he was doing your job for you," Tiedoll said, his aging face serious as admonished me for what I knew wouldn't be the last time. He held my gaze for one or two seconds before his shoulders slumped and he rubbed the back of his neck. "Why was he upset about being sent to File Storage?"

"Because he's directionally-challenged," I grumbled out, because unlike me Tiedoll wouldn't think that fact was amusing. "That's why I made him go down there."

Lavi planted his hands firmly on my desk and peered at me from over my computer. "It sounds to me like you sent Al down there so he could get some rest."

Fuck. Of course that was taken the wrong way. "No," I snapped defensively, and inwardly groaned at how quick I was to deny the claim. Now they'd think I was lying. "He was annoying. I wanted him out of the way."

Lavi's hand snaked around the computer screen and poked me, the redhead's eyebrows wiggling in a creepy manner that made me want to beat the ever-loving shit out of him. "He's got some fire, eh?"

I pushed him away and scowled. "Shut up."

"You don't seem too upset about being yelled at," he said, taking on a mischievous grin that I'd learned to hate. "Allen's pretty cute."

Tiedoll's head shot up like a starved animal that had caught the scent of food.

"So are dogs," I grunted, subtly trying to steer the conversation away from my PA before anyone decided to play matchmaker. There was no way I'd touch that brat. Appearance and personality-wise, he was basically a kid. Besides, virgins had never been my thing.

Lavi's grin grew, as did the twinkle in his eye. "You like dogs."

I bristled, half outraged by the insinuation while the rest of me was left wondering how the fuck he'd obtained that information. _Alma must've told him._

That damned blabbermouth needed his lips sewn shut.

In an attempt to keep my hands busy so I wouldn't try to strangle the nearest asshole -who just so happened to be the little shit whose face I'd most enjoy watching turn purple-, I picked up the light stack of speeches from my desk to peruse and go over the finer details.

As if to try my patience, Lavi kept yapping, probably planting more ludicrous ideas into everyone's thick heads. "Are we going to talk about how my darling Yu-chan let Al leave early?"

 _Shut up._ "It's in his contract to leave an hour earlier on Thursdays anyway," I offhandedly informed the group, flicking through the papers. "Since he pulled overtime last night and this morning, it's fine if he leaves now." After I said that, I paused, everything Lavi had said finally sinking in. "And don't call me that!"

VWV

Lavi shrugged off his jacket and let it fall to the floor at my front door because he's a lazy bastard who didn't care to look after his shit.

Both the heap of cloth and the other man earned a disdainful look. "I didn't say you could come over."

"Don't be such a meanie," Lavi drawled as he made his way over to my fridge. He opened the door and poked around, inspecting the contents of each and every level. "You love me."

That comment was so stupid that I didn't believe it warranted a comeback.

I pulled open the sliding glass door that led out onto the long terrace that curved around the corner of my floor, and I automatically tensed when a rush of cold air greeted me. My breaths formed small clouds which slowly rose and vanished, the sight almost hypnotic. What was even more alluring than that, though, was my surroundings. Up here, far above the rest of the insignificant world, was a miniature garden.

All around me in pots of muddy water were flowers, their delicate petals reaching up in varying shades of pinks, purples and whites.

I'd planted every lotus here with a friend. With Alma.

I closed my eyes and breathed out, enjoying the cold on the backs of my eyelids and the night wind that kissed my face. Regrettably, I was dragged from that pleasant peace by a nagging feeling that refused to be ignored - I suspected it stemmed from the fact that my condo was dead silent even though a certain someone had been left unattended inside.

After reopening my eyes and taking one final sweeping look out over the bright city, I returned and found that my uninvited guest had made himself at home on my couch with a can of beer.

Figuring he wouldn't just listen to me and leave, I fetched my own can, cracked it open and dropped down onto couch. Surprisingly enough, Lavi didn't speak, the man instead silently nursing his drink while looking at my blank television screen. That in itself was enough to draw my stare. "You're quiet."

He flashed me a smile and raised his drink in my direction. "You _do_ care."

"Stop being an ass," I grouched, stretching out my legs and draping an arm over the back of the couch. "What's got you less loud?"

Lavi's smile did this weird spasm thing that the idiot tried to hide by gulping down some of his drink. When he'd finished drinking and had composed himself again, he let the can and his hands return to his lap. "I wasn't going to mention this in front of Tiedoll, but…" He turned to face me completely, the light and cheerful version of him that everyone was used to gone and replaced by a more serious one. "What's up with your PA?"

My fingers tightened around the can and the aluminium made noises of protest against the sudden treatment. "What about him?" The Usagi may have been an idiot, but he was smart and intuitive as hell; it made me wonder which of the Moyashi's quirks had tipped him off.

"He's a little weird, and I'm not talking about his appearance." Lavi's eye never left my face, searching me for any answers it could, even if they weren't spoken. It was unnerving as fuck to be looked at like that. "Did you notice?"

"Of course I did," I admitted, and decided to surrender more slivers of information to see what he made of them. "He hates being touched and rubs his left wrist whenever he's uncomfortable." And since he was uncomfortable more often than not, his wrist was almost constantly moving against the leg of pants. "He's a pushover and is weak to authority." That bit, however, I still found to be quite helpful. "He's less jumpy now though. He used to not make eye contact with me and stuttered too much." When I finished speaking, I touched my can to my lips, only to pause when I remembered something else that was fairly weird. My PA's actions weren't the only thing unusual. "There were also two calls with Lenalee and Komui. They told me not to mess with him too much."

That received a raised brow and a confused smile. "Calls? From Lady Lena and Mr my-sister-is-my-world?" Lavi hunched himself forward with his arms on his knees and his hands wrapped around his drink. "They know him?"

I knocked back more beer instead of responding, figuring he was smart enough to know the answer to that himself. My attention was more on my drink; if I continued, I'd get drunk, and if Tiedoll impulsively stopped by like usual, he'd give me an earful for being wasted while on the job.

As expected, Lavi completely ignored my lack of a reply. "I'd guess anxiety. Maybe some trauma."

That… actually made a lot of sense. The Moyashi had tons of nervous ticks and traits, along with a massive scar down his face, making trauma and anxiety highly probable.

I slowly finished off my drink as I thought about that, and then I leaned forward to move my now-empty can to the coffee table. Speaking about my PA, coupled with that long pause in conversation, had me recall the incident from earlier. I sent the other man a displeased stare. "What the fuck was with that today? Suggesting that shit in front of Tiedoll?"

Lavi's easy grin returned in full. "Oh I meant it." He reached for the TV remote that sat between us on the couch and smirked. "You even have nicknames for each other~"

VWV

The Moyashi stood in front of my desk, his eyes downcast and his mouth set in an unhappy line as he fiddled with one of his gloves. It was easy to see that there was something bothering him.

I propped my elbows up on my desk and entwined my fingers together, taking care to look at him with a stare I knew made people feel especially uncomfortable – it was the one that always caused my past PAs to stutter and mumble. "What can I do for you?"

He uneagerly lifted his head a fraction and started rubbing his left wrist again. "I… There's this _thing_ … on the computer…"

Fuck this was fun. "I'm sure there is."

His cheeks became a muted red and he took a step back as his features shifted to form a small frown. "… I don't know… what to do…" Each and every word that left my PA's mouth sounded as if it had been forced out.

 _Ah. He wants my help._

No. He _needed_ my help was a better choice of words. The Beansprout wouldn't ask for my assistance unless there was no other option.

"And I…" He wrung his hands, stubbornly refusing to look me directly in the eye. The Sprout acted like it brought him physical pain to ask for my help.

Allowing myself a smirk, I stood, finding satisfaction in the dumb shock that swamped his features. He hadn't expected me to put him out of his misery by keeping this from dragging on. What he didn't know was that this was only for now; work-related matters took priority over messing with my assistant. He hurried after me as I left the room, and I was the first to reach his work area. "Well?" I gripped the top of the backrest of his seat with both hands and leant over it for a better look at his black monitor. "What is it?"

He quickly slid into his seat and moved his mouse, waking his computer back up. On his screen was a list of designs and sketches that had been sent in from one of our branches.

"You don't really have to do much." I'd forgotten that he wouldn't have exposure to all this. He hadn't applied to be my PA, so it made sense that wasn't aware of how to fulfil every one of the responsibilities and tasks he was given. "Put your name at the bottom. It's company regulation since you're the one typing this up." My eyes scanned over the rest of what I could see of the document. "Don't forget to put the product number there," I reminded him, pointing to the little bordered square in the top corner. After he typed that in, I reached for the mouse, causing his hand to flinch beneath mine. Since he didn't seem to get the hint that he was supposed to _retract_ his damn hand from the mouse, I dragged both and scrolled through the page. "The rest of it looks fine. Send it to me and I'll check it over."

"Okay." His head tilted back and he looked up at me with subdued relief, not moving even as the dark strands of my hair not bound by my red tie hung down and brushed his cheek. "Thank you."

My smirk returned. "What? Did you think I'd tease you?"

My PA nodded mutely, honest despite his hesitancy and apparent embarrassment.

"I see." It pleased me to see how fast he was developing. His attempts to anticipate me and his ability to so easily become on edge only served to make this game all the more interesting. It was a nice change from how things used to be. Since Tiedoll had taken me in during my final year of elementary school I'd had my fill of material possessions, and sex had been with whoever the fuck I'd wanted once I'd developed those desires because practically no one had refused the third son of the Chairman of _The Black Order_. I'd also basically been handed this company once I'd completed my college studies and Bookman had trained me up a bit. As this gig as Vice Chairman was my only real job and it offered me at least some challenge, I would fulfil my responsibilities to the best of my ability. "Well, maybe later, baka Moyashi." My new PA was now here to serve as my occasional entertainment, after all.

Silver eyes flared deliciously with anger, his mouth twisting into a satisfying grimace. "I have a name."

VWV

After my PA had gone down to fetch both his and my food, I'd let him eat in my office with me for our lunchbreak so we could discuss work. At first we'd talked about my schedule, but conversation had stalled a while back. Right now though, I couldn't stop staring at his face.

He was eating some kind of dessert and had yet to notice that cream had snuck its way into the depression of the scar curving his cheek. The cream had remained even after he had patted his face down with a napkin, pissing me off to no end.

I wanted to hit something. How could he not realise it was there? How'd it get so far from his mouth in the first place? And why the fuck was he eating a _dessert_ for lunch?

 _Fuck it._

I snatched a handful of tissues from the box in one of my desk drawers, dragged him forward by the collar and attempted to rub his stupid face clean. This was so damn annoying. The Moyashi wasn't supposed to be here for me to babysit.

"S-stop! What are you doing?!" He squawked, the question followed soon after by words of protest as he tried in vain to push away from me.

When the cream was finally gone, I released my PA and threw the dirtied tissues in the trashcan that sat a foot to the left of my desk. "Learn to eat like an adult."

His gloved hands stilled, both in the process of reaching for his face. "Huh?"

"Messy eater…" I grumbled under my breath as I picked up my chopsticks and seized a soba noodle from my bowl. From the corner of my eye I watched the kid nearly fall out of his chair trying to lean far enough to stare into the bin. "They're tissues."

He righted himself and looked pointedly at me in a way that made my skin crawl. " _Why_?"

Growling from the back of my throat, I dropped my noodle back into the bowl and used my chopsticks to point at him. "Because you apparently can't eat properly. Idiot."

VWV

 _Lavi ships it?_


	13. Joker

_Joker_

 _Allen Walker_

" _Poker._ "

The word, so familiar to me, had my head shoot up before I could even think to control myself. Poker had been one of the few things I'd found fun prior to my release from that hellhole, and I still held a penchant for the game. I was good at it too. It may have been awhile since I'd played against other people -years, in fact-, but I knew without a doubt that I could outplay anyone in this room. Four survival's sake, I'd engrained winning into my very being.

Tiedoll had decided to visit again the following Tuesday, bringing with him both of my boss' brothers and his own PA. They stood directly in my line of site, forming a circle in the area that connected the main hallway to my office. Unlike the rest of the group who were engrossed in the conversation, my boss was openly staring at me, most likely having noticed my reaction.

Instead of striking up a conversation of our own that would most likely leave me irritated, I ignored him and kept my focus on Daisya, who was chatting to the only redhead in the group about setting up a game. What was, annoyingly enough, difficult to ignore, was the screwed ball of paper that clipped my head, rebounded and landed on my desk.

"Is the space cadet present?" Kanda snidely asked, and this time I looked at him long enough to notice that he was sporting his usual semiformal suit. The only real thing different was that the hair rope he wore today was white.

"Was that really necessary?" My expression soured into a scowl while I rubbed my forehead. "Brat," I grumbled under my breath, grabbing the ball and dropping it in the trashcan at my feet.

His quirked brow prompted me to repeat my mutterings. "What was that?"

I plastered on a bright smile, becoming the picture of innocence just by widening my eyes and acting confused. "What was what, sir?"

Kanda's forehead smoothed when the muscles around those dark eyes tightened with his glare, which was what normally happened whenever I gave him these smiles. "I called you twice and you didn't respond."

"Oh? Well you should have tried for a third time. I've heard three time's the charm," I said, sarcasm thick in my voice as my patience wore thinner and my smile became brighter and more forced. This was exactly why I hadn't wanted to speak to him; being rude to my superiors was a good way to get a pay cut.

Both of his eyebrows rose this time, and he opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Lavi's enthusiastic, "Let's have the Short Stack join in!"

If I'd of had less control, I would have thrown my mouse as Lavi for following my boss' lead and coming up with new nicknames that insulted my height. As things were, I simply turned my _very_ fake smile on him and tried not to let my eyes show just how much I wanted to hit him with my keyboard. For insurance, I also tucked my hands into my lap. "I have a name, sir. I also have plenty of work to do, so I'll decline your offer." _Even though you never actually offered._

Every feature on Lavi's face seemed to slacken as disappointment took hold of them all. "Are you behind?"

My jaw nearly dropped. The notion that _I_ wasn't up-to-date with my work was an incredulous one; I couldn't believe he thought that I would let myself fall behind in something like this. I wasn't Komui Lee. "Of course not," I icily informed him, my nose scrunching up in displeasure.

Like a flipped switch, Lavi was suddenly all smiles, suggesting to me that I may have been tricked. Or that he was just a tad bipolar. "Then you're fine!"

"I can't play with you," I reaffirmed, stonier with my rejection than before. I was also rather irritated because I had most likely just been played.

"No need to be so uptight." Lavi strayed from the group and walked over, his inquisitive green eye making me feel as twitchy and self-conscious as it usually did. "We'll definitely have you unwind with a game." He moved around my desk until he was behind me, and his hands clamped down on my two shoulders, which he rubbed and squeezed as a friendly gesture of goodwill. I kept the shudder hidden, but when his bright face appeared too close to the right of my own, I couldn't subdue the minute jerk that Lavi undoubtedly saw. He was close enough for me to be able to hear him breathe, close enough for me to be able to feel the warmth emanating from his body. "Doesn't relaxation sound good?"

I doubted that anyone could see it since my legs were partially hidden the desk, but my fingers had dug into my thigh when my gloved hand clawed once anxiety set in, the light pain enough to keep myself from making too big of a mistake by forgetting where I was or who I was talking to. My mouth was dry. I wanted to play, the need so bad that it felt almost like an old addiction that required sating. The main problem was that I was deeply concerned about prolonged exposure to Lavi. He was exactly the kind of person I tended to avoid; I'd never been good at hiding things from the curious types that were fond of physical contact and noticed more than they should. I mean, Lenalee was a good example of that. The only main difference between him and her was that Lavi hadn't spoken a word to me about my problems despite having quickly found them out. Maybe it was because he was an adult, whereas Lenalee had not yet been one at the time.

Speaking of adults, as one, it would be highly unprofessional of me to engage in a game of poker during work hours and _in_ _the office_. Additionally, I would prefer not to embarrass my superiors. "I don't th-"

"He'll play," Kanda said, speaking on my behalf even though I hadn't given him the right. Paying him a fraction more attention, it registered that he had not looked away from me since Lavi had butted in. It was possible that he too had seen me flinch. He was much more of an idiot though, so I wasn't as worried. If anything, he would chalk it up to me being startled or something of the sort.

I opened my mouth again to protest, but snapped it shut. It was no use. My boss and the redhead were both stubborn ones. "Alright then." Besides, maybe it _would_ be a good opportunity for me to unwind. Being on pleasant terms with the heads of a company never hurt anyhow. That in mind, I turned my head to politely ask Lavi to remove his hands from me when I realised all over again the proximity of our faces and, as a result, gripped my leg harder.

Lavi's playful smirk made me uneasy. It also made me regret my decision to play almost immediately. "That was quick. I'd almost think you _wanted_ to play." Before I could react to that, his arms encircled me from behind, causing my body to lock and become as stiff as stone, as if I had peered into Medusa's cold eyes. My suddenly chaotic mind could not comprehend anything until Lavi stealthily grasped my wrist and pulled my hand away from my leg. "I bet you do, right? You're just being a shy Beansprout!"

Though my throat felt thick, I took the time to note that no one had caught on to the byplay. Lavi was just that good of an actor.

VWV

Tiedoll and his youngest had some calls to make before the game could commence. That had left the four of us remaining to move to one of the conference rooms on this floor via one of the few doors that lined the hallway to my office area. We currently sat at the circular table in the centre of the room, Lavi between Marie and Daisya on the latter's right, followed by two empty seats, me, and then another three empty seats between the brunet and I.

I made sure to act normal, lest Lavi attempt to bring up what I'd done to my leg. He may have noticed me watching him. He also may have noticed that I'd attempted to keep a minimum distance of three feet between us after what had occurred earlier. The aftermath of that encounter filled me with a nervous energy that I ensured was kept hidden by one of my brighter smiles. I had to be more careful.

If this small incident had taught me anything, it was that I should not hurt myself again while Lavi was in the room.

"Kanda's less snappy today," Daisya said out of the blue, starting me so bad I almost jumped. "He usually protests more."

"He's still grumpy though. The only thing he willingly agrees to play with us is paintball, and that's only because it gives him an excuse to shoot us." The redhead overdramatically sighed, folding his arms over the table and using them as a surface to prop his chin on while I inwardly grimaced at the thought of what a paintball tournament against Yu Kanda would be like. "He has such a pretty face. It's too bad about his personality."

"Satan _was_ an angel, so he had a pretty face even though he was the ruler of Hell," I offhandedly chimed in with a small smirk that I tried to hide. When it went quiet, I looked at the group to find them unabashedly staring at me. My eyes went wide as I replayed my last words in my mind. "Woops." I slowly craned my head to look at the door, and when I saw that neither Tiedoll nor Kanda had returned, I said, "Not sorry." I didn't care if Kanda heard -that ass already knew how I felt about him-, but Tiedoll was nice, so I was unwilling to upset him by accidentally having him overhear me badmouthing one of his sons. Personally, I'd destroy anyone who insulted _my_ children, so I wasn't very eager to know what Kanda's father would do in the same situation.

Daisya let out bark of laughter as a big grin split his face, before he teased, "Tell us how you really feel."

Though I dropped my gaze when I felt my cheeks heat up, I sheepishly smiled. Daisya was especially nice, and I suspected that he was well aware that his brother wasn't the most popular person.

Before anyone else had the chance to comment, Kanda and Tiedoll entered the room to hear the last of Daisya's unmuffled snickering and snorts. Kanda shot Daisya a look of disdain, whereas Tiedoll simply seemed amused when he took the seat next to his eldest.

Kanda sat with a free seat on either side, between Marie and I, and he was anything but impressed. He sat back in his new chair and crossed his arms, glaring at us all like we'd offended him somehow. "Let's get this over with."

 _What crawled up his butt and died?_

Encouraged by the verbal prompt, Daisya pulled a box of cards from a pocket in his trousers. "So who's playing?" He opened a flap on the side of the box and then tipped it so that the deck slid out onto the table.

I raised a hand, and Lavi did the same, only with much more vigour.

Daisya gathered the cards together and then began to shuffle them in an amateurish way that made my inner poker-player cry. "Alright, so us three."

That surprised me. From the way everyone had talked earlier, I'd thought they'd all be playing. Once I finally got over how sloppy Daisya shuffled the cards, I looked to my right at Kanda, only to find a frown already directed at me. "Can I help you?" I asked without averting my gaze.

He made one of those usual dismissive noises and looked away. "I'm betting on the Sprout."

My shock was interrupted when both Lavi and Daisya cried, " _WHAT_?" They gaped at Kanda, providing enough of a distraction for me to calm myself -hopefully- without being seen. Daisya stood up and pointed at me, which I would have found insulting any other time. "Why him?! You know how good I am!"

 _If his shuffling skills are any indication of how he plays poker, this'll be an easy win ,_ I thought, keeping myself from rolling my eyes. Still, I had to admit that I was also surprised; and here I was thinking that I'd hidden myself well. Not even Lena knew how well I could play poker.

"Calm down," Tiedoll said, smiling that kind, parent-like smile of his. His soft brown eyes then fell on his middle child. "I'm betting on Daisya."

Lavi gave our group a pitiful expression. "Where's the love?" He whined, burring his face in his hands. "I thought we were friends!"

"Then I'll go for Lavi," Marie said as Daisya sat back down, before Lavi could start faking tears.

"I see how it is," Lavi wailed accusingly. If it were anyone but him, I would have been concerned. "You're picking up the leftovers!"

"If the Sprout wins," Kanda cut in, pushing the conversation along to get it and Lavi's episode over with, "I don't have to go to any of those dumb weekly lunches for the rest of the year."

Tiedoll reeled back in his seat and sucked in a breath, appearing pained by the terms his child had proposed. "Yu…" The heartbroken way in which he spoke Kanda's first name gave me yet another reason to hate my boss.

"For the month," Daisya quickly amended, shooting his father a worried glance. "Or the old man'll cry." He stared at Kanda, silently pleading for him to accept the modified condition.

I could understand why Daisya wanted to fix this fast. Tiedoll seemed to be a very emotional person. Then again, seeing my children every day was my joy. If one of them acted like Kanda did, I didn't know what I'd do. I was aware that my boss was required to have one lunch with his family per week. Aside from that, the only times Tiedoll could see Kanda during the day was when he came in to sign important documents or, like today, when he caught my boss when work was slow.

Kanda's mouth twisted uglily with a grimace, yet he nodded anyway. "Fine. The end of the year isn't that far off anyway." He uncrossed his arms and stuffed both hands into the front pockets of his stupidly-expensive trousers.

"If Daisya wins, you'll have four dinners with us a week," Tiedoll said, facing Kanda. He still sounded upset, making me wish I could nail Kanda in the shin.

My boss made a aghast face before he hurriedly countered with, "Two a week." By the sound of his tone, he didn't seem all too pleased with that number.

"Deal," Daisya finalised with a clap of his hands that signalled the end of their exchange. He then turned his attention to his other brother. "Marie? What about you?"

Marie took a few moments to consider this, wrinkles creasing his bare brow. "I don't have anything I especially want, so I'll make my bet the same as Father's."

Kanda's openly uncomfortable expression became one of displeasure, like he'd eaten something he'd expected to taste nice and it had gone off, leaving a foul flavour in his mouth. Or like his older brother had just betrayed him for their father. "The heck?"

Yu Kanda greatly confused me. Why was he doing all this if he didn't like it? Was his family making him participate? Or was he doing it for the chance to gain more freedom from them? Either way, I suddenly came down with the urge to lose. Downplaying my skills and losing just for the sake of getting back at my boss for the hell he'd put me through sounded like an amazing idea. It helped that everybody else in the room seemed to be teaming up against him too.

Kanda must have seen something in my expression, because his intense stare was soon turned on me. "If you purposely lose…" He began, but left the threat hanging and scowled again. "If you win, I'll give you whatever you want. Within reason."

I sat up a little straighter in my seat, eagerness appearing on my face. "Thirty sticks of mitarashi dango? From Jeryy?" If I could get that, I'd gladly push down my dislike for my boss and win this.

Though his countenance was dominated by disgust, I saw a hint of relief appear in his eyes. "Sure."

 _Competitive Mode Activated_.

Daisya let out a laugh, his own ever-present grin growing larger. "You look more motivated."

That fool wouldn't be smiling for much longer.

VWV

"Are you upset because I won?" I asked Kanda on the way down to the cafeteria. As expected, I had completely obliterated my opponents. It may have taken me one or two hands to get back into it, but the game was like riding a bike; to me, it wasn't something that could be forgotten. What I did not understand was why Kanda was acting grumpier than normal. He hadn't even so much as _tried_ to mess with me yet. "That doesn't makes sense. My win was your win."

Ahead of me by two strides and without glancing back, Kanda snapped, "Just shut up and get your damn food."

"Sheesh." It honestly amazed me that was such a douche. "Did you want me to lose?" I probed, the question a genuine one and not tainted by the sarcasm I was bottling away for later in the event that he continued to act like the rude jerk I knew him to be. Maybe he had wanted me to lose. Maybe he hadn't been aware that I was experienced in playing poker. "I mean, I can understand wanting to spend time with your family-"

Kanda snorted, effectively cutting me off mid-sentence. "Hurry up."

Judging by his reaction, my theory appeared to be wrong.

Not that it mattered once I stepped into my favourite room in the building. It was big and rectangular, with plenty of space and two rows of several tables. I was at the counter almost instantly, gripping the smooth bench and peering into the kitchen. "Hi Jeryy."

The Indian cook turned at the sound of my voice, his face lighting up as he abandoned a head of lettuce on a chopping board and came up to the other side of the counter to talk to me. Just like the last time I'd seen him, his hair was in two tight braids and he wore his sleeveless chef's outfit and sunglasses. I couldn't blame him for the sunglasses because the lights in the kitchen stabbed at your retinas with the same ferocity as that of a raging wife repeatedly plunging a knife into the gut of her cheating man. I didn't know whose idea it had been to use mini suns instead of light bulbs, but what I did know was that they were stupid. The cooks would go blind at this rate. "Hey cutie." Jeryy leant himself against the counter, and when he saw Kanda, he looked even happier. "It's rare to see you here."

I tried to subdue the visible sign of anticipation, but excitement caused a grin stretch my lips. "Kanda made a bet. Now he owes get me dango. He's here to make sure I don't order more than what we agreed on."

Jeryy shook his head in disbelief. "How much?"

By this point I was positively beaming. "Can I please have double my normal serving?" I'd wanted to say that for a long time now, but my funds had been going somewhere far more important than to my food. I had to save enough for the kids' school and college tuition.

"Are you trying to terrify the boss?" Jeryy teased while he wrote my order down on a notepad. He appeared amused by the whole situation. "It'll be ready soon."

"Thanks. And it's not like I'm eating a whole meal. He shouldn't be scared off that easily."

"Mhmm. We'll see about that," Jeryy said, before he flashed me one last knowing smile and returned to the bright depths of his kitchen.

I left the counter and sat at the closest empty table. Kanda followed and sat down beside me, and it didn't take long for me to notice just how off he was. He seemed incredibly stiff. It was when I felt eyes on me that I cast a discrete look around us and noticed the glances of a number of people in the room. I guess it really was odd for the Vice Chairman to eat in his own building's cafeteria. I could have said something, but since it didn't affect me, I ignored everything and waited. My silence was interrupted barely a minute later when the man I'd elected to ignore chose to speak.

"What did he mean? You're too small to be able to eat as much as he was suggesting."

My good mood brought on by the promise of dango was dampened as my irritation spiked. My height was fine. The problem was that Kanda was unaware of how to speak without insulting someone in the process. "My metabolism works fast," I said in a curt, cold tone, crossing my ankles and looking down at my hands. "I need to eat more than most people to stay healthy."

After that it became quiet again. With nothing to fill the silence, I was left with nothing to do but awkwardly stare at anything but the general direction of my boss. We were not the kind of people who'd naturally be drawn together as friends. Without work as the topic, conversation between us struggled to exist.

I felt his eyes on me and wished they'd go elsewhere. Why he hadn't departed yet was beyond me. It wasn't like he was obliged to stay. "You don't have to wait with me."

Without moving from his spot, Kanda responded to my veiled prompt with, "They might still be in my office."

"Ah. Yeah." That's how he'd gotten out in the first place; Kanda had used the fact that he had to buy me mitarashi dango as an excuse to hightail it away from his teary-eyed father. Although I would have liked my boss to find somewhere else to hide out until his family went home, I refrained from telling him that.

"Sweetie," Jeryy called from the counter, "Your food's ready. Tell me if you want anything else, m'kay?"

By the time the last word had left him, I was already up and hurrying to collect my prize. "This is just a snack. I don't want to spoil my appetite for dinner." On the counter were three large plates which, in total, held thirty sticks of beautiful white balls slathered in a brown soy sauce glaze. "Thanks for the food."

"No problem, Honey."

"Why is there so much?" Kanda asked, his repulsion and complete disbelief directed at the contents of my plates. He wrinkled his nose and looked to me for answers that I couldn't care less about giving him.

I retook my spot and removed my right glove to avoid the possibility of getting sauce all over the material again. I'd thrown out a pair for ruining them that way once.

"Our Allen's stomach is a black hole," Jeryy joked from the counter behind me. He sounded thrilled, like this was a topic he enjoyed talking about. "Just be grateful you aren't watching him eat 'til he's full. Most people end up skipping out on their lunches."

I seized the closest stick of dango and half turned to squint at Jeryy disapprovingly. "That's going overboard."

"Honey," Jeryy crooned sympathetically with pitying eyes, "You have no idea how many people I've watched either throw out their meals or ask for a doggy bag after seeing you eat."

My face fell at the news, before warmth crept up from my neck and worry clouded my features. "You're lying." Holy heck did I hope he was. If people were actually horrified by my food portions to that extent… _That would be humiliating_.

"I'm not," he assured me in a low, matter-of-fact tone. "But don't you worry. I love how much you eat. It especially fun when you order a larger variety."

Swallowing an embarrassed retort, I shoved ball of dango in my mouth and faced forward so I couldn't see Jeryy. _Lenalee_ was fine with the amount of food I consumed; she would happily eat by my side and never seemed the least bit sickened. Everyone else was just weak.

"You know it's bad when the cook likes you because of how much you eat," Kanda taunted from the other side of the table. His lips were forming that godforsaken smirk and his eyes were filled with dark amusement.

Once I finished chewing, I looked Kanda in the eye and responded with, "Close your mouth and return to Hell, demon."

Like the asshole I knew him to be, all he did was quirk a brow and remain quiet. The way he watched me eat made me feel like a bug under a microscope.

I did my best to pretend as if he didn't exist, eating my favourite dessert and enjoying the sweet flavour that made my tastebuds sing praises. On my fourth, I saw a hand reach across for a stick. As a result of this, I very nearly speared my boss with a skewer. "Don't touch," I muttered threateningly while shooting a fierce glare at his hand, because _no one touched my food_. Not unless they were my children.

Kanda withdrew his hand, mild shock and anger melding together until they gave way to contemplation. "What does that crap you're inhaling even taste like?" There was no mention of his near impalement.

"It's kinda sweet," I said, and then dragged another ball off the stick with my teeth.

He visibly recoiled at that, his face screwing up with disgust for what could have been the third time today. Apparently he was not a fan of sweets. No surprise there. Someone as tasteless as my boss probably had the palate to match.

By the time I was halfway through, my bored boss was tapping a finger against the wooden top of the table. "You should add milk to your diet," he suddenly suggested, stilling his hand and smirking. "Calcium is good for the bones. It'll help you grow ." Kanda pointedly looked me up and down. "You don't look like you've completed puberty yet, so it should still work."

Oh how I wished that I really had impaled my stupid boss.

VWV

Being the PA of the Vice Chairman of a major company wasn't all it'd cracked up to be. There was my boss' personality to deal with, along with the new environment, the work, and did I mention my boss' horrid personality?

I'd admit that this company had made some things better. My previous jobs had payed reasonably well, but once I'd stacked electricity bills, water bills, school uniforms and excursions, my own clothes, food bills, and travel expenses together, there just hadn't been enough to cover it all. As a single parent of three, when I was first allowed to care for my children, I'd often had to skip meals here and there to make ends meet. With Komui, it hadn't been that bad though. He'd helped me get a job with the company and even occasionally invited all four of us over for dinner. This had meant that I'd actually been able to splurge at times.

Right now I was earning even more. With this surprising -but not unwelcome- wage increase came the desire to buy things for my kids. I wanted to get them more books and toys and clothes. I wanted to show them how it felt to be normal – not that I could really relate; it was good that Lenalee was here to steer me in the right direction. The point was, this desire of mine produced a newfound realisation: Katie didn't seem interested in dresses like the rest of the girls her age. I would be more than happy to buy her sneakers and a soccer ball if she asked, but she didn't. Katie never wanted anything more than us. She was the kind of little girl to smile and say that everything was alright even though it really wasn't. It was like having my own personality reflected in her. That was bad. She was still a child.

I didn't want her to be like me.

Watching my daughter now, seeing that beautiful little girl brush her long hair free of tangles and knowing what I'd done, I felt horrible. I was the worst. Luckily that had been only a small part of her life and she barely remembered any of it. And yet that knowledge didn't stop the guilt. Because I'd wanted it so badly that I'd only thought about myself, forcing her and the boys to be born in that shithole. But I would make it better. I'd promised them long ago that I would spend the rest of my life making up for being selfish.

Katerina saw my stare and gave me a smile that I quickly returned. She set her brush on the coffee table and started pulling on her bright red socks.

I turned my attention to Mana, who sat beside me on the couch in his giraffe pyjamas while excitedly tugging on my sleeve, eager to show me his new tooth. Apparently it had already begun to grow in. "Let me see."

At the prompt, his eyes sparkled with childish delight that made the guilt I felt recede a little and he climbed up on my lap. I gently held his chin as he opened mouth. His adult tooth was peeking through, the white standing out against the surrounding pink gum. "What do you think?" Mana's grin was big and white and made me happy to be alive. "Cool, isn't it?"

"I think your new tooth his _very_ cool. However…" I trailed off, and abruptly stood, my hands sliding under his butt to support him as he squealed and looped his arms around my neck. "It's bedtime."

" _Eh_?" He pouted and shook his head from side-to-side. " _Not yet_ ," he whined, "I'm not tired yet."

"If your lay down for a while, you'll start feeling sleepy." I lugged Mana upstairs while he begged for thirty, ten, and then five more minutes before bedtime. Without warning, I dropped him on the mattress and climbed in with him. I tickled him until he cried with laughter, and after giving him a brief moment to catch his breath, I ticked him again. When the other two filed in, I dragged Neah by the arm and tickled him as well.

Eventually we said our goodnights and I retreated to my own room. The dishes and laundry had already been done, so I could rest now.

I crawled into bed and reached for a small leather bag on my nightstand. After plonking it in my lap, I fished around inside for the little bottles that were my antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds. My day had been a reasonable one, meaning I wouldn't need to rely on any sleeping pills tonight. Maybe.

VWV

 _My only excuse is that the sudden drop in updates of all my favourite fanfics made me lose all motivation to write._


End file.
